Fight Back, or Turn the Other Cheek?
One of my blog followers asked me a few weeks ago, "How do we Christians know where and when to resolve conflicts, and mostly, how to avoid getting walked all over if we choose the latter?" Tough questions. The best answer I've found does not come from me but from the well-known voice of theologian Reinhold Niebuhr:
God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. Living one day at a time, enjoying one moment at a time. This is a good formula for living as well as general problem solving. It leaves room for the different ways people respond to creation and other people while covering the basics. But he said more, which clarifies the issue even better, I think:
...accepting hardship as the pathway to peace; taking, as He did, this sinful world as it is, not as I would have it. Wow! Is this section not profound? The path to personal peace in a sinful, faulty world will sometimes involve hardship. We don't hear that often. My daughter and I were talking just recently about how, in every group, workplace, or community gathering there will always be someone (or more than one) who rubs us the wrong way. They do something wrong and won't admit it, or they do something glaringly selfish, or we just don't like them for some reason. Jesus' answer to this, Niebuhr says, is that we are to take the world as it is, not as we would like it to be. Making and keeping the peace is the best road, and sometimes that is hard to do. At times we have to swallow our pride, even though we know we are right. Sometimes what is right to us is wrong for the other person. The only exception to this that I can see would be if someone were to be harmed by errant behavior we are witnessing. Then it is easiest and best to try to get this person themselves to rectify their behavior or turn themselves in. Where this fails or if it boomerangs, as happens often with whistleblowers, we must do what is right, but we can look for comfort to Niebuhr's next words:
...trusting that He will make all things right if I surrender to His will. God is just, and justice in the long run will prevail. Surrendering to God's will, though it may be difficult at the time, still brings the calming, quiet satisfaction of knowing you have done what is right, that God knows, He judges, He forgives just as we must, and He loves all of us, even our enemies, unconditionally. To close out Niebuhr's prayer: ...that I may be reasonably happy in this life, and supremely happy with Him forever in the next. What a reward!
Hope this answered your question, Mary. If not, we'll go at it again.
Reveling in the justice and love of Jesus,
Margaret
God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. Living one day at a time, enjoying one moment at a time. This is a good formula for living as well as general problem solving. It leaves room for the different ways people respond to creation and other people while covering the basics. But he said more, which clarifies the issue even better, I think:
...accepting hardship as the pathway to peace; taking, as He did, this sinful world as it is, not as I would have it. Wow! Is this section not profound? The path to personal peace in a sinful, faulty world will sometimes involve hardship. We don't hear that often. My daughter and I were talking just recently about how, in every group, workplace, or community gathering there will always be someone (or more than one) who rubs us the wrong way. They do something wrong and won't admit it, or they do something glaringly selfish, or we just don't like them for some reason. Jesus' answer to this, Niebuhr says, is that we are to take the world as it is, not as we would like it to be. Making and keeping the peace is the best road, and sometimes that is hard to do. At times we have to swallow our pride, even though we know we are right. Sometimes what is right to us is wrong for the other person. The only exception to this that I can see would be if someone were to be harmed by errant behavior we are witnessing. Then it is easiest and best to try to get this person themselves to rectify their behavior or turn themselves in. Where this fails or if it boomerangs, as happens often with whistleblowers, we must do what is right, but we can look for comfort to Niebuhr's next words:
...trusting that He will make all things right if I surrender to His will. God is just, and justice in the long run will prevail. Surrendering to God's will, though it may be difficult at the time, still brings the calming, quiet satisfaction of knowing you have done what is right, that God knows, He judges, He forgives just as we must, and He loves all of us, even our enemies, unconditionally. To close out Niebuhr's prayer: ...that I may be reasonably happy in this life, and supremely happy with Him forever in the next. What a reward!
Hope this answered your question, Mary. If not, we'll go at it again.
Reveling in the justice and love of Jesus,
Margaret
