The Importance of Respect

I have been reading a fiction book in which a teen from a troubled home committed suicide. This touched a nerve in me, because a nearby community has had a rash of teen suicides this past year--including one just a few weeks ago. I have no magic answer for these tragedies, but I do know this: In my youth, rarely if ever did it happen. Why? I can't be certain, but I do have a few ideas about that.

1. We respected our parents, and they respected us. Not that we were close friends, but my brothers and I did what was asked of us without questioning it--including plenty of chores, which made us an integral and important part of the household. If a problem came up, we knew we could talk to our parents and they would take time to listen. I'll never forget the day I came home from ninth grade in bitter tears. New to this school, I had quickly made a best friend who after just a couple of months was moving to a different school district. It was too much readjustment to have to make so soon. My mom took me in her arms, heard my sad story, and reminded me, "This, too, shall pass." That's all I needed. She had a job, as most moms do today, but we were lucky. My dad owned an auto repair shop and we lived in a house on the premises, which enabled her to be around if needed. Mom was his telephone answering service, errand runner, and bookkeeper.

2. People respected other people more. I'm not talking about accepting persons of other races, genders, religions, and nationalities. My neighbor taught his children to call my husband and I by our last names, "Mr. and Mrs. Houk," even though our families had become friends. My husband once had a boss who was a decade younger than him. He told Pete to call him "Jerry,"* but my husband declined. He was "Mr. Scott"* as a sign of respect for his position, and that had nothing to do with his age. How do you address clerks in stores, police officers, and neighbors?

3. People expected respect from others. I just listened to a noon hour television news broadcast in which the anchorperson said betters are cropping up with wagers regarding Britain's royal wedding on "Will the marriage end in divorce?" and "Will the bride get to the church on time?" There was a time not so long ago when the only appropriate response to a wedding announcement was "I wish you a long and happy marriage" and the only appropriate wager was over where the royal couple would spend their honeymoon or how many children would they decide to have. We expected good behavior from everyone, so it never became the object of a question mark.

4. Discipline is love in action. When parents stopped requiring respectful behavior from their children, the children stopped giving it. Are they happier today? No. On the contrary, studies show that children need and want to know the acceptable limits of good behavior. Their lives become chaotic without it.

Our public attitudes need upgrading. When we can show proper respect for other people and what's going on in their lives, and they in ours, we will have happier, more emotionally healthy communities.

Wanting a healthier, happier world--the kind God wants for us all,
Margaret

* not his real name