Walking Religiously

2012-01-03T17:15:00.000-06:00

Temporary Time-Off

Some of you may have noticed that the quality of my writing has fallen off in the past few months. Temporary but stubborn health issues have kept me from thinking clearly from time to time. Rather than struggle and continue to disappoint my readers and myself, I've decided to suspend my blog until the health issues are resolved, as my doctor assures me they will.

I absolutely love this blogging stuff and I am sure my Big Boss wants me to continue, so I will happily contact you all when I am able to give it my best again. Have a happy and prosperous New Year!

Margaret

2011-12-27T19:08:00.000-06:00

Holiday Fun

What a great Christmas we had at our house this year. I hope yours was as happy and joyous. My church always has a candlelight service on Christmas Eve, to bring into radiant focus what the birth of our Savior means to us all in this troubled world. Christmas carols by the choir and congregation ring out the truth that is our greatest earthly blessing. This year our group was accompanied by a string ensemble. Can you hear the rich sonorous harmonies of these great instruments helping to uplift our praises to our great God?

Much of the holiday joy in our household comes from having children and grandchildren and their families living nearby and joining us for dinner and, for some, gift-giving. Christmas Eve afternoon supper with one family, Christmas day noon dinner with another, and another celebration with another branch of the family tree tomorrow keep us laughing and sharing crazy memories from over the past year. And a few sad ones, for that, too, is part of life.

This coming weekend will see us start a new year. May the Lord bless you all and bring our troubled nation back to reconciliation, peace, and prosperity in the Year of our Lord 2012.

Margaret

2011-12-20T12:45:00.000-06:00

The Meaning of Christmas--- a Repeat

During this Christmas week I would like to repeat a true story I told you all here a year ago. Nothing goes to the heart of the Christmas message as much as this little story. I had forgotten it, until I started looking for something to share with you all this very special week. Here it is, again. I hope you enjoy re-reading it as much as I did.

My ten-year-old great grandson came to visit last Sunday. Raised in a religionless home, he asked, "What is the meaning of Christmas?" So I found for him my Little Golden Book version of The Christmas Story (Luke, Chapter Two, in children's language). I realized later that I had not shared with him the meaning of Christmas, just the story. So who cares, that a baby was born to a poor couple in a small village in one of the world's smallest countries? Why does that matter to anybody else, especially 2,000 years later? Obviously there was something very special about this baby, his mother and step-dad, and this little nation. Why did angels appear in the skies and announce his birth to a bunch of shepherds--the poorest of the poor people--and tell all the people around them how great he was? Even more amazing, why did a trio of kings from faraway lands come to worship him, calling him a king?

This is what I told my great grandson:

He was not just a baby. For thousands of years the Jewish nation where he was born had been waiting for a Messiah or Savior to be born. Their God, whom they believe to be the Creator of all things, had promised that he would come. These people had offended their God many times over and over again and were not always on good terms with their God, even though they also believed he is the best thing that can ever happen to anybody because he loves and forgives them, over and over again. That's the way people are, isn't it? We all hurt each other, sometimes when we don't even mean to. The Creator did not want this kind of life for people. He wanted them to love everybody all the time and never cause anyone trouble. But because that's the way people are, everybody needs to get right with God again. Jesus, the baby, was sent by God to make that possible not only for the Jews but for all people who want to believe in and follow this God. Jesus is his Son, you see. How he did that is another story, the Easter story.

Back to the Christmas story: Christians--those people who love Jesus and believe he is the God-sent Messiah/Savior are full of joy at this time of year because Jesus' birth means God loves us very, very much. So much that he sent his own Son to be that Savior. It also means that someday, when we die, we will come alive again and be with that loving God forever and ever in "eternal life," which is the perfect world the Creator God originally wanted for us. God promises us that in the book we call the Bible. And God is truth, that book says. That means, he never ever breaks his promises.

Now isn't that good news? It's wonderful news. What's why we can't help but say, "Rejoice! Rejoice! Our Savior has come." We give each other gifts because God us humans the greatest gift there is--a Savior.

Your great grandma who loves you, too, just like Jesus and God do,
Grandma Peggy

2011-12-13T13:14:00.000-06:00

How are our Congressmen doing?

Wisconsin Republicans pushed through a new voter ID law this year on the pretense of cleaning up our elections, though we had no discernible fraud problem. Now processing the photos for these IDs is costing the state $28 each and the new law requires an added registration process that threatens to create such long tedious lines, some voters may leave without voting or even stay away from the precincts. This new law will do more to interfere with good elections than assist the process.

On the other hand, having succcessfully picked up two seats in the state Senate through recalls this year, the Democrats are running several more recall elections next year, costing taxpayers the considerable expense of numerous more special elections.

Whatever happened to all the politicians' concerns about bringing down the the high cost of government and reducing our enormous deficit? Their priorities, on both sides, are obvious, aren't they? No wonder the Occupy people are protesting all over. The politicians in both parties just haven't gotten the message yet, and we citizens are sick to death of the game-playing.

Lord, our nation does need help to get back on track towards a good, moral, God-pleasing country. Lead us towards that end, if it be Your will,

Margaret

2011-12-06T16:04:00.001-06:00

Just checking in

Where did I go last week? I wish I knew. Actually I've been ill and out of commission for nearly six weeks. Part of the "ill" is that my head hasn't been working right (dizzy, light-headed, confusion, etc.). Then I had a setback last week and just wasn't up to doing anything...

I won't go into the details. I just wanted you all to know that my doctor assured me today that I am on the way back--all the way to normal. It'll just take a bit more time, so please bear with me until the Lord so graces my life with normalcy again.

You're always in my heart, here or not,

Margaret

2011-11-22T11:08:00.001-06:00

The God Experience

How can God be anything but love? The core of all that is kind and good, the one and only Source of

pure love without blemish, the Author of all life, true beauty, and total unadulterated joy---He is all these things. Evil exists only to show humanity how much everything and everyone is lacking, much as one dot, one period on a sheet of pure white paper mutilates the whole of it.

Human beings, on the other hand, can only see and appreciate the awesome immensity and fullness of God because we have been gifted with being created in His image. No more, less we deceive ourselves into imagining we are God or even godlike. No less, so that we can see and feel and experience His magnificent love, strength, and care. We humans are given the royal gift of choice (Shall we, or shall we not choose to love Him back?) so that we can absorb, connect with, and return His love.

On this Thanksgiving, thanking God for all He is---the grandest and greatest of all experiences,

Margaret

2011-11-15T09:59:00.001-06:00

Notice: No new post today. health issue, hopefully minor...

Take care,

Margaret

2011-11-08T16:06:00.003-06:00

Why We Need Poetry

The Light of the World : Prose

After several days of cloudiness and rain, the sun came out again today. What a difference it makes in the world around us. Sunlight breaks through our window panes. Its rays light up the bedroom and lift our spirits to start off the day. A glance outdoors exposes the deep rich earth tones of autumn leaves and purple shades of late-blooming asters. Wherever the rays fall, they brighten the surfaces of life's fertile growth, bringing forth the vibrant hues the Creator have given them. Touching whatever they reach, the sun's fingertips generate warmth and leave a trail of shadows as they gently hug the earth with gentle goodness.

Where would we be, without sunlight? What else on earth blesses our souls so nobly and intensely? Jesus is the light of the world, a world His Father brought into being. That Father gifted us with that light from out of a great void of nothingness. What joy it bring us, this heaven-sent light! Whenever we see sunlight appear, may we never forget what the Source of all light intends for us--pure joy, everlasting love.

The Light of the World: Poetry

Rays through my window
   kiss the bedsheets,
     create their own stripes and shadows,
     Gladden this groggy heart.

Opening my eyelids,
     they draw me to the windows,
    to magic leaves of mellow gold
     and rusty brown,
     translucent in their splendor.

Oh, there You are,
     my God, my Lord,
     Lord of all things,
   Lord of everything.

You who give us the rays
     give life,
     brighten life
     to bring us hope
   and the soul-deep touch
     of joy abundant.

Take me by the hand,
    guided by Your stardust.
    Take me where You will
    and never, no never let me go.

Have a sun-filled day,

Margaret

2011-11-01T11:13:00.000-05:00

Crabby People

A short while back I had the opportunity--or perhaps I should call it "misfortune"--to spend some time with a couple of crabby people. Lest you should rightly call me "self-righteous," I will admit here that I too can be crabby at times, but I don't make it a habit. Some people do. I can go all the way back to my childhood and give you the names of every one of my relatives who belong to that genre', because I noticed there is this about them: they were not much fun to be around. I didn't like them, for that reason. They depressed me. So I avoided them as much as I could. Which wasn't often. When they're your relatives and your parents take you along to family gatherings, it's pretty hard to avoid them. As an adult, you can kindly say no to their invitations.

Which brings me to my point: Are they crabby because they can't help being crabby or because they don't want to? I suspect the ones I know are the latter. It's possible they haven't lived a very happy life, and that prompts my compassion. But when I look back at my crabby relatives, I see spouses of the crabby who aren't crabby at all. This seems to lend credence to my belief that they just like to argue and bicker with others. They must either get some kind of delight from being crabby, or they don't care enough about others to notice how their behavior affects them.

So what do we crabby-dislikers (How's that for a newly manufactured word?) do about the crabbies? Avoid them? Ignore them" Tolerate them? The one I like best is to pray for them. As someone who has lived with chronic pain for forty-plus years, I could easily have joined them, and at times I do for a short time, but I choose not to live that way. Which tells me people can choose. If they choose to live differently, they can. And I suspect that, if they do, if they decide to change from chronically crabby to chronically thoughtful and self-giving people, they will find greater happiness for themselves.

Have a happy, crabby-free day,

Margaret

2011-10-25T11:59:00.000-05:00

America's Greatest Enemy

A TV commentator said last week that, with the death of Gadhafi, all of our major enemies have been killed. Whether or not that is true, maybe now we can concentrate of that which is and always has been our greatest enemy--ourselves. We have long been the wealthiest and most privileged of nations. When my father was in his teens, his family came to this country from Germany as part of the early twentieth century's Great Migration--not because they were poor or starving but because the U.S. was, as Dad once put it, "the land of abundant opportunities." We were and still are, but whether that will continue is a big, bold question mark.

We are at a crossroads today. We've made some mistakes that are working against our own best interests. Several of them, in fact. Here is a starter list to get us back on a healthier track:

1. Bring God back. This nation was founded as a faith-based country. We've accumulated a Heinz variety of religions, but that's the way our founders wanted it. Religions strengthen people and lead us to higher and nobler goals. Spiritual diversity is the way that works best, to avoid the corruption that human nature brings to distort great moral and spiritual ideals. The Almighty's truths will rise to the top and shine brightest. (I do not include atheism here, as it is essentially a non-religion and a negative that, to my mind, serves no useful purpose.)

2. When we bring God back, other constructive values will return. Chief of these is respect. Respect for people in authority such as police and other law enforcers, teachers, parents, bosses, and the like. (Yes, we can include politicians, too, if they follow the noble purpose of truly representing the best interests of the people who elected them.) There will always be boneheads in all fields who are the exception to the rule, but our authority figures have a big and important job to do. Most of them try to carry out their responsibilities well. We have been living through a Golden Age of Criticism. That has to change. To do their job best, our persons in authority need our respect and emotional support.

3. We need to respect the right of law, as well. We have an immigration problem we are not dealing with properly and effectively. We've gotten soft on human decency, depriving people of respect toward others and victims of self-respect. Lack of respect for good laws brings social chaos. There are numerous other cases of disrespect for law, but the important thing to note here is that law brings order. If a certain law is not bringing safety and justice, the best policy has always been to change the law, not disobey it.

4. When respect takes its rightful place in our society, our national attitudes will change. The return of modesty will ennoble men and women. Pleasures will satisfy, at a soul-deep level, replacing the shallowness in much of society today. A return of appropriate censorship will protect society, especially its children, from the degraded ideas and modes of living we see so prevalent on TV shows today. Relationship habits that build healthy interpersonal attitudes will build better character and bring adherents genuine deep-seated, lasting love. All of these will generate a healthier standard of living for the future, giving our children and grandchildren better living in a country that improves the odds to make the best possible.

Hoping to see a more positive future for our people,

Margaret

2011-10-18T10:41:00.000-05:00

What It Means to Be Free

We live in a free country. Most of us have, all of our lives. But how often do we stop to appreciate what that really means? Here are a few thoughts on that:

First and foremost, it means that we can live life on our own terms. We can ask, "What do I want to do with my life? Do I want to make a difference in being here, and if so, in what way or ways?" Many women will ask, "Do I want marriage, a demanding career, or both?" More importantly, we are free to act on fulfilling those highly important personal issues.

Being free also enables us to think independently. "Am I a liberal, believing that above all our government should care for all its people, providing them a high quality of life, regardless of their circumstances? Or am I basically a conservative, believing that a nation's strength and strength of character depend on expecting and sometimes requiring all of its people to take responsibility for providing for themselves and their dependents, regardless of their circumstances? Or, am I something in between?" I believe most of us are the last. Former President George W. Bush had a compelling goal with his slogan "compassionate conservative." The difficulty in following that comes in knowing how to choose and where to act on that.

Living free means having the opportunity to be at peace with yourself, if you so choose. So much of happiness in life depends on the choices we make, or don't make. Not that that is easy. Sometimes, acting in advance, we don't know what the outcome will be. That's where freedom is especially important. It gives us room to change what we don't like or what doesn't work well for us. Room not only to make mistakes but to correct them, to the best of our abilities. And above all, to choose to follow the God who gives us the peace that passes all understanding.

Happy to be free, and enjoying the privilege with you,

Margaret

2011-10-11T12:36:00.000-05:00

The Big Dog Experience

It all started with Humphrey. While my three daughters and I were doing some early Christmas shopping seven years ago, we ran into a huge bear of a dog, a Newfoundland (Newfie, for short) and his owner in the entrance area of a local department store. They were manning a Salvation Army bucket there. As I leaned over to plunk my dollar into the bucket, Humphrey nuzzled up against my left thigh. I looked into the friendly big brown eyes of this gentle 150 lb. beast and instantly fell in love, patting his 5 inches of black fur, to which he responded once again with his "leggy love hug." I suppose this kind of hug is the best one can do if one is a big hulk of canine beauty set on four short legs. When his owner told me about the mind-mannered and gentle nature of this breed, I was captivated. The following year I bought my own Newfie puppy, naming him Sam.

It's a different dog experience, living with a Newfie. For one, Sammy didn't last long as a lapdog. His favorite venue is the floor, though he is not fussy where except that it is has to be near Mom (that's me), when she is home. Clumps of black hair began accumulating in my home on the living room and kitchen floor as well as clinging to the furniture, and in the back seat of my car, which he has taken over. He parks there when we go to the dog park or just for regular outings, which he loves. Stray hairs started appearing regularly on my pants, in the living room chairs, and on the hot pads and kitchen drying towels hanging on hooks near the stove and sink. I've found occasional samples while sitting in the waiting room of the doctor's office and in church on Sunday mornings, while shopping in the grocery store, and you name it. I think you get the idea... .

He is very lovable. Of course. That's the charm of a Newfie. But he is also kind of dumb. We have a game we play. He's pretty independent, as dogs go. So when I want him to come to me from somewhere, I spread doggie treats in spots along the path. Sometimes he doesn't watch me carefully and can't find the spot where I placed one. Then I have to go back and point out to him where it is. It's not that he is blind or near-sighted, mind you. He has no trouble spotting people food if my daughter or I drop a piece of meat or cheese on the kitchen floor while we are cooking.

He sleeps wherever he wants. Newfies are not good at climbing stairs or making high jumps, so it's never on my bed. It's not near my bed, either, though he occasionally tries that one. He is a loyal owner lover. Apparently there is not enough space there for his ample desires. His favorite spots are front entry slate floor or the cement one in the garage. It figures, with all that fur and three layers of it as well. But he also likes to park in walkways anywhere, requiring us two residents in my small house to climb over or around him. He won't move unless you ask him. Then he is very accommodating, but only for a few feet. Same game. Yet we love him dearly. Newfie's generally do what you want, when you want, so long as it doesn't take much energy. Suits me fine. But most of all I love those "leggy love hugs" that are sure to greet me whenever I come home from somewhere. Anywhere. Every time.

For those of you who. like me, find dogs are the best friends ever (Okay, for you diehard cat lovers, you may substitute your preference),

Margaret

2011-10-05T11:47:00.000-05:00

A Footnote to Yesterday's Post---

I wondered this morning if yesterday I had mislead you, my readers, by simplifying the complexity of handling our nation's jobs vs. cuts problems. So I was greatly relieved when my original conclusions were verified in this morning's Post-Crescent (Appleton's daily newspaper) by Federal Reserve Chairman Ben Bernanke in his report yesterday to the Congressional Economic Committee. The newspaper reported this from his remarks:

"The economic recovery 'is close to faltering'....The biggest factor depressing consumer confidence is poor job growth. 'We need to make sure that the recovery continues and doesn't drop back and that the unemployment rate continues to fall downward'....Bernanke reiterated his warning that lawmakers should not cut spending sharply while the economy is weak."

I think we have to rise above political maneuvering and posturing by both parties, listen to the experts, and urge our elected officials to forget party politics and do what is best for our country's people. I welcome your thoughts on this.

Margaret

2011-10-04T11:17:00.000-05:00

Jobs or Cuts?

All this political talk about creating jobs while cutting costs has to be taken with a grain of salt. The only way a sustainable job can be created is for someone or something to generate the demand for it. Though private job creation is more desirable, private industry has been hesitating to do that, waiting for the demand for its products or services to pick up first. That's okay. It's a wise choice. But for the government to throw money in that direction to create jobs is not likely to pay off well if at all right now. This leaves it up to the federal government then to be the locomotive that pulls the rest of the train of growing our economy, mostly by engaging in public works spending.

Here's where today's biggest problem arises. Many in the Republican party want to balance any public spending with an equal measure of cost cutting. What they don't realize is that cutting costs most often involves cutting personnel--the biggest generator of costs by far in most industries. Cutting costs randomly at a time like this will involve cutting jobs, undermining the attempt to create more jobs and undercutting the momentum and speed of the train. Their philosophical idea of cutting the size and scope of government is wise and greatly needed, but their timing is wrong. Obama's stimulus plan has been working, if people will look closely. As he himself stated, the only problem with it is that it wasn't big enough and didn't go far enough to enable a full recovery. It wasn't intended to. Maybe it shouldn't. Isn't it better to struggle along and let private industry and laborers adjust to the changing times and needs than to become dependent on government to do the whole job, financed of course by more and more taxes? There are presently encouraging signs that the economy is starting to recover, though it has and will be slow coming back. What we do then in the near future will substantially affect whether and how well it will continue to move ahead. In other words, we must watch carefully and decide again and again as we move along which to prioritize: jobs or cuts?

The other big mistake some governments are making currently is to cut education budgets. There are lots of jobs available right now and have been all along. The difficulty here is that there aren't enough skilled workers to fill them. Our future economy depends on building an educated, skilled workforce. How can we do that if our children and young adults don't receive a top notch education? We have to stop shooting ourselves in the foot like this.

It's time to bite the bullet, take some risks, and invest in our country and its schools until our nation grows into an improved ability to handle the deficit and costs of good governing. There is no harm in streamlining what our officials are doing presently, but let's not cut those programs that are essential to maintaining and rebuilding our great American free, safe, and prosperous way of life.

Calling for time, patience, common sense, and careful choices ahead,

Margaret

2011-09-27T14:10:00.001-05:00

Whence Comes Wisdom?

Since World War II and the introduction of the G.I. Bill (aiding the higher education of war veterans), we've probably had the best educated population of any nation in history. College grads want their children to become college or tech school grads, and so forth. But there's one thing we haven't gotten right yet. We have yet to recognize and appreciate the advanced wisdom that comes only through the voices of age and experience. Today's society, at least in the United States, does not acknowledge this publicly, if at all. Maybe because we are still, at less than 250 years old, a relatively young nation, and a youth-worshipping one as well, we still live in a world where credentials seem to mean everything. We have yet to grasp the truth that experience is life's best teacher. Not the only one, mind you, but the best one.

A friend of mine in the banking industry found this to be true, when his ability to turn around from red to black a failing bank and build branches for his company was not enough to overcome his lack of a bachelor's degree when he found the need to change jobs and obtain something suitable to his record. I too found this to be true when an agent told me that forty years of working with children of all ages and under many differing circumstances was not sufficient to author a book on parenting, since my degree did not specialize in the field of medicine (especially pediatrics) or child psychology. Nor does our present attitude explain why, when I served as housemother in a receiving home a number of years ago, the social workers, though trained in youth work, invariably asked me how to handle their wayward charges living in the home.

I remember reading a number of years ago that the Japanese honor the age of sixty as the beginning of the "wisdom years,"and consider the elderly to be a precious asset to their national culture. It stands to reason that, having lived through many and varied circumstances, senior citizens would have learned something of value from their many past mistakes as well as the multitude of ideas and techniques they've found to work well. With a large number of baby boomers beginning to enter their senior years now, maybe it would be a good idea for us in the U.S. to join them.

The wise will listen; the foolish will blow off such learnings as relics of another era or the musings of "old fuddy-duddies." Let's see: What is that well-known saying? "A word to the wise is sufficient."

Your wise (I hope) and insightful (I've been told) blogging friend,

Margaret

P.S. I welcome your comments on this. What do you think? Do you think we should start something here?

2011-09-20T12:14:00.001-05:00

My "impatiens"

Debbie's "butter and eggs"

Unplanned Treasures

I'd like to share with you a couple of special gems that showed up in our lives these past few weeks.

One is the perfect little lavender impatiens plant above. It popped up out nearly out of nowhere. I discovered it by accident, as it peeked out between two larger astilbe and hosta plants under my hanging plant along the front walkway of my house. It must have come from a seed dropped from last year's hanging plant, as this year's plant is a rich deep red Impatiens. I was checking for stray weeds the morning I discovered it, pushing aside the present plantings to find any rogues. "Surprise!" it said to me. "I came along unplanned, just to brighten your day."

That was last week's (week of 9-11) discovery. This past Saturday morning my daughter/housemate Debbie came into the house where I sat reading the morning's Post-Crescent newspaper. "Mom," she spouted out, "you've just got to see this!" She dragged me out into the front yard, to the area where a ground cover blankets the front ditch. There in the middle of the crowd, poking its little blossom upwards in a spike, sat a gorgeous yellow and orange blossom, a common weed called "Butter and eggs" (2nd photo above). Surrounded by a mist of early morning dew--nature's framework--, this was her special gift from God. A weed is merely a plant that someone doesn't want there.

Such are the joys of nature. This is God at His best, telling us who in really in control of this fruitful, abundant world and reminding us that His love is ever-present and undeniable in a world that in recent months has left us in Wisconsin politically shaken, wondering where common sense, civility, and good government are hiding. We may shake our fists and yell at each other. Our Supreme Court justices may push around and choke each other on our financially shaken, politically divisive, and contentious swing state. But God is in His heaven, and He shall not be moved.

Thanking You, Lord, for the reminder,

Margaret

Whence Cometh Our National Wealth?

2011-09-13T10:48:00.000-05:00

Looking at the history of working people this past century, I find it very hard to believe the currently popular economic theory that the welfare of a country rises best and fastest where the biggest monetary resources are placed in the hands of big money and big business. In the last sixty years or so since World War II, our nation acquired its great economic power when the middle class, assisted heavily by the union movement, was given sufficient wages and benefits to purchase not just a survival income but wages that brought a comfort level to people so that they could buy such luxuries as books, CDs, tennis equipment, powered boats and hunting gear, theatre tickets, and the like. It's called "consumer spending", by lots of consumers with sufficient income to spend. China today is rising in economic power as its middle class is gaining ground, with India not far behind. Many developing countries are seeing the same results. Conversely, the U.S. has lately been losing ground. In recent decades wages have not been keeping up with the cost of living, while more and more of the country's wealth is going to the wealthiest few. Is it any surprise that our economy is struggling in its attempt at recovery?

Until the Republican party leaders recognize this, their wise and well-intended efforts to streamline our burgeoning, wasteful federal government will fail. Prosperity cannot and will not return and prevail if they succeed in laying the cost of balancing the budget and bringing down our national debt primarily on the pocketbooks of the middle class instead of asking the wealthy to make their appropriate contribution. Are they not gaining the greatest benefit when our country prospers?

Seeking fair distribution of the national wealth,

Margaret

I'm Back!

2011-09-06T20:14:00.000-05:00

I'm Back!

Hi, reader friends! Did you have a good summer? Mine has been full of travel trips, gardening ventures, and some good and nurturing family gatherings. Maybe too full (see below).

After my break of twenty days I find myself wanting to try a change that is risky, but may well improve my writing. Are you willing to go along with me on this? I would like to write as the Spirit moves rather than follow a certain deadline. Meaning my new posts can appear anytime, or "not on time." Readers generally want to know exactly when a blog is going to reappear. That is the risk. And I can't blame them. In today's busy world, nobody wants to waste their time looking for something entertaining and inspiring only to find that nothing new has appeared. But I found before my break that I didn't like some of the material I was putting out. I hadn't had the time to have my advance-reader edit some of these posts. She has a good sense of what will go over well and what will not. So I would like to try this for awhile, to see if I--and especially if you, my readers--enjoy what I am doing a bit more. Please let me know your response to this.

I'm considering one other change. One of my major interests in writing has long been political commentary. I must be good at it, because I won a second place award my senior year of high school in a statewide essay contest put on by the Michigan Bar Association (I grew up in Grand Rapids, Michigan) on issues of the day. This, too, is risky, though I am an independent voter, preferring to vote for the person over the party and leaning in issues towards what I feel America needs most at the time. The danger here is that people tend to become very emotional on partisan issues and may well disagree with my comments and argue back or stop following my blog. I can handle that. I welcome differences in thinking. The question is, what do you--my dear regular readers, think about this? Would you welcome posts on political issues, also?

Glad to be back,
Margaret

2011-08-19T10:02:00.001-05:00

Gardens Follow-Up

I learned something significant when writing "My Gardens" this past Tuesday. My first impression was that I had failed you, my readers, in that was nothing in it for you. If I'd followed my initial plan for that day's post, that would have been true. When it came down to the actual writing, I felt each project needed an explanation of some sort. What I learned is that every garden section has a story connected with it. And I sure did get carried away on my stories, didn't I? Life is so interesting! There's a reason for everything.

I also discovered that I need a break. Every so often it is beneficial to step back from what one is doing, to rest from the grind, and to refocus on what you are doing, why, and where you are going. If any of you regular readers have suggestions to make along those lines, please let me know. What are your favorite topics from my writings? Have some (any) given you helpful insights? If so, in what category? Or is my blog just plain pleasure reading to refresh your day? Are any of my topics a turn-off? Yes, I DO want to know that. Contrary to what most people expect, I do welcome criticism—the tough kind, especially. I realized very early in my writing life that that is the best way to find my true calling and grow in my craft. So don't fear pitching me a few hardballs.

So I'll leave you now until the first Tuesday morning in September, the sixth, the day after Labor Day. That's three reminders to come back and join me again. I love interacting with you all.

Your blogging friend,
Margaret

2011-08-16T17:02:00.006-05:00

My Gardens

A gardener is a gardener is a gardener. It started in my teens, when I tried to put some flowers in a small patch in my parents' home, following in the footsteps of my Dad who put in a backyard pond complete with water lilies and a fencing of grapevines by which he produced wine every year. I didn't learn from him very well, killing the first flower garden I put in on my own after I was married by neglecting to water the seeds in hope that nature alone would cause the the flowering plant leaves to pop up. Some classes, magazine subscriptions, and books many years later, here I am with my current crop of gardening interests. Immediately above is my Riots of Color two months later, which I promised to show you. Isn't it marvelous what sun, water, and the grace of God will cause to grow? The fence around it was put there when the rabbits ate some of the early blossoms, as I mentioned a while back.

The rest of the photos are, as follows: At the top, our vegetable garden which, despite the poor showing of seeds that emerged, has managed to give us several meals of beans so far and the tomatoes are now coming in, better late than never. Below that is a part of my prairie garden, which lines the back of our backyard. The great thing about prairie gardens, often called "natural landscaping," is that they grow on whatever soil you have and, once established. do not need watering, fertilizing, or any other specialized care. Since they are native to the area and its particular habitat, they are rarely at risk of plant diseases or bugs. I'm in it for the ease of care---lots of beautiful flowers with not a lot of work. Not that I am lazy or anything...

The next photo shows the hedgerow that lines the east side of our lot. Its major plant is a dogwood shrub that feeds the birds well and allows woodland plants to grow under its bare limbs in the spring. What a glorious view we have in May, with several varieties of understory plants right outside the kitchen dinette window--wood anemones, trout lilies, etc. Below that is my present project--a long-standing problem I think (hope) we are finally coming to terms with. When we moved in, I planted our front ditches in a ground cover, because my husband could not mow up and down hills, eliminating the option of a lawn there. I found in the library what I thought was the perfect variety. The Serbian bellflower handles our cold winters well, is evergreen, and grows well in sun or shade. It's one weak link is that it requires a well-drained soil. My ignorant mind thought, this being a set of slopes, that that would take care of the "drainage" part. Wrong! We have clay soil, and "well-drained" to master gardeners means sandy or rich loam well-conditioned soil. I learned this a few years after the planting was in, so with the help of family and friends, I worked into the existing soil some peat and coarse sand or Perlite. It has helped lots. The south side of the ditch is now growing well. But for some reason this north side, off the road, has shown heavy plants losses every winter. We finally decided recently to plant a mix of ground covers on the north side and a small line of rain garden plants at the bottom of the ditch, where nothing seems to do well.

This extensive mix of plantings tells you why I have been very busy all summer, even with the help of my teen garden girl. In another week I will be off to Arizona for six days to attend a graduation and visit with relatives again and after that my girl is off to school for another year, so I will get my life back and have more time for writing soon. I've spent so much time outdoors with my teen helper that I have severely neglected putting in the usual time I spend on my posts and book projects. I hope to do better shortly. Hope I haven't let you all down.

Hoping also that you like this change of topics, as we come to the end of summer,
Margaret

2011-08-09T17:03:00.003-05:00

America's Debt Crisis, Part Two

For the first time, I wrote a post last week that I regretted. Meaning, I hope everybody who read it will be sure to read this next one. Not that I think that what I wrote was wrong, but rather I'm not sure it was right. I'm talking about whether or not the government should be actively involved in the welfare business, as some of you may have guessed. On one hand, Jesus did assign the job to individuals in Matthew 25 (where he says those who feed the poor and cl0the the naked do it as if to him). What Jesus didn't say however was how we carry out that message of "living love"--personally, or though charities, or through the government. Actually, does it matter? So long as his work is being done, who cares how?

Which brings me to my coverage of the liberal view of government and the debt crisis, as I see them. Raw capitalism, the economic system under which our country is based theoretically, is harsh in its impact. I mentioned last week that our founders intended ours to be a land of equal opportunity, not equality. Liberalism tries to equal the odds of that happening. Its weakness is that it reaches too far and ends up striving too much for equality--not a good thing for growing strong individuals. Yet the liberal view is needed because many conservative advocates don't grasp that not all children get a fair chance at life in our "free" country. Children from disadvantaged homes usually, but not always, have a much harder time. Those from dysfunctional homes have all they can do to survive and learn somehow how to function well. Some citizens are disabled, cannot take care of themselves adequately, and have no one to assist them. So when a conservative talks about "picking ourselves up by the bootstraps," what they don't see is that for some, those bootstraps are made of lead. To compete in the marketplace of life is going to be a harder job for them, if they can manage it at all. So, if they are to gain equal opportunity, there must be a system in place somewhere to move them along to that point.

Furthermore, under a system of raw capitalism some of those who are fortunate enough to acquire massive amounts of money and influence will use it to further enrich and empower themselves, to the point of enslaving the masses rather than sharing these blessings from God with them. These people feel they have earned their wealth and somehow deserve it, whereas we people of God know, as the writer of Ecclesiastes says: The race is not to the swift or the battle to the strong, nor does food come to the wise or wealth to the brilliant or favor to the learned; but time and chance happen to them all" (Ecc. 9:11 NIV). Not familiar with these words? I wasn't for many years, but aren't they lovely? They speak volumes about people's destiny in life.

It is only through fair and honest elections and a free impartial press that we can right these wrongs that greed supported by misused freedom bring. Labor unions have been the saving counterpart for our society during the 20th century. For a long time the Democratic Party supported the labor unions and spoke for the masses, which brought genuine prosperity to this nation's middle class. But more recently unions too have succumbed to the temptations that unbridled power brings. Now, and especially this year, we have come to a point of reckoning, with both parties.

These are momentous times, my friends. Don't you feel it, too? Polls says that both political parties together have only an 18% approval rating from the general public. It will be interesting to see where the near future takes our country. Will our representatives in D.C. continue to follow the will of their special interests and spend their precious time playing partisan political games? Did the protest early this year in Madison and other states and the severe reaction to the stupid debt crisis wake them up? Will they finally turn back to listen to their people once again? Today's election results may be a clue.

Still loving both parties, faulty as they are,
Margaret

2011-08-02T11:00:00.002-05:00

America's Debt Crisis, Part One

Our Congressional representatives have been held hostage in recent weeks by a group of extremists who think they were given a mandate from the people to push through their agenda. Fortunately, their Republican party leader found a way to work around them, at least for the time being. Despite their unworkable methods, I suggest here that their ideas are worth listening to. They are right in claiming our nation's people need to reverse their dependency habit of looking to government to solve every problem. No matter their political leanings, most people concede that personal strength comes from accepting responsibility for one's life, wherever that takes you. It comes from "picking yourself up by the shoestrings and getting on with whatever... ." Even overwhelming losses can be dealt with privately by help from many sources--family, friends, church friends, and charitable agencies, and sometimes with the support of fund-raisers. Sometimes that doesn't do the whole job, but God has reasons for allowing difficulties in one's life and, as Jesus said, he will provide the way out, according to his purposes. Plus it is a godly thing to help one's neighbor in time of need.

We've gotten away from the true purpose of national government, I think. Impatient because helping services don't always fill the cracks, we look to the government because there is money there. Or was. But that is not what our nation was founded for. Our founders were looking for freedom and safety, giving citizens equal opportunities to build a good life. I suspect we have taken that too far. Equal opportunities are not the same as equality. The former strengthens the individual, the latter does not require any effort. And there are other national question marks. Do we really need to lead the rest of the world towards democracy by being there? Would it work as well just to solely extend our influence, requiring them to pick up the ball, as local activists are doing in north Africa this spring? The latter preserves their dignity, which is why our efforts in many countries have not always been appreciated by the people there.

Anthropologists Will and Ariel Durant found after forty years of studying civilizations around the world that deferring too much of our national wealth into the functions of government depresses a country's overall wealth, whereas allowing the private segment to build progress in that country will raise it for all its citizens. This is what the extremists are saying, and it would pay us to listen. The problem that led to the crisis is that the movement back to greater involvement by the private sector has to be incorporated gradually, not forced into a system not ready for massive change. We need to balance the movement with adequate support for the vulnerable in our society and the need for the best of education to ensure wise change. A society needs time to adjust to change, to manage it well.

The above represents one view, but only half the picture. Look for my take on the opposing view of the crisis in my next post.

Loving my country--all parties,
Margaret

2011-07-27T14:09:00.003-05:00

Correction! To those of you who checked in yesterday, I apologize for giving you the wrong title of Kahlil Gibran's best known book. I changed it this morning, from The Pilgrim to the correct title, The Prophet.

Thanks for understanding,
Margaret

2011-07-26T11:41:00.001-05:00

Simmering Time

My regular followers may wonder why I haven't been actively working on the book I began writing this spring. I haven't dropped it. It is just under the surface workings of my mind, undergoing some simmering time. A war is going on, pitting my present outline of topical issues expanded in various directions with another structural plan. I have a strong desire to chuck the Type A (strong organizer) tower for another methodology—just a series of essays, much like Kahlil Gibran used in his classic, The Prophet.

I don't know which of these will work best, to get out my message. These days I am coming up with a number of compelling theme statements that could comprise either a collection of essays on deeply felt concerns or a chapter in the tower. The thing I like about the essay method is that the messages drive the writing. In the tower type, there is a structure that needs to be filled in and that drives, at least to some extent, the content of the book. The danger of using the essay method is that I could lose my focus and drift into topics unrelated to my overall vision for the book. Losing focus is, unfortunately (sob, sob), a writing fault of mine, one I am constantly fighting.

Thanks for listening to my ramblings. Now I know where I need to go next. Once I get these theme statements written or, better yet, the full essays written, it should become clear to me which method serves the book's mission best.

Not forgetting, just simmering,

Margaret

2011-07-19T16:17:00.004-05:00

Love on "The Bachelorette"

Of all the popular programs on TV, one of the stupidest has to be "The Bachelorette" (or its counterpart, "The Bachelor)." The basic assumption--that you can throw a gorgeous young woman in front of a bunch of promising hunky young professional men and expect that, with some social mixing and careful selection, she can find one to fall in love with flies in the face of how romantic love relationships really work.

There are a couple of reasons this won't work. First, falling in love in something that happens to people, not something they plan, work at, and figure out. One can't force the process. They may talk of finding "chemistry" (attraction), but the real thing--genuine romantic love at the deepest level--is not something you look for and try to develop. In other words, relationships are not something you think about, they are all about feelings.

Secondly, contestants are always playing to the show. They cannot be themselves, following their own instincts. Even if they want to or try to, the show comes first. It has to follow its consecutive dramatic path to a foregone conclusion. The one time a guy (in The Bachelor) in all honesty decided not to give the final contestant a proposal because he realized in retrospect that he had stronger feelings for another earlier contestant, he wanted to inform the young woman involved ahead of the final show so she could avoid the shock and embarrassment that a sudden reversal in front of the viewing public would bring. He was not allowed to do so. The rejection had to come on the show itself, to increase the drama. When he followed the show's direction and she was traumatized by the event, he was crucified by the general public for being so cruel. He had wanted to do the honorable thing. It was the show itself that deserved the public's judgment of cruelty. But that didn't happen.

Yet people still watch it. We do like to see romances develop. Romance novels are perennial favorites for readers. But if you do, and I confess I occasionally do, too, keep your viewing in perspective. This is just a show, it's not real life.

Always a romantic,
Margaret

2011-07-12T15:37:00.004-05:00

Begone, Ye Backyard Predators!

My daughter and I are battling nature like never before in our gardening efforts this summer, with a little bad luck added. It started with the green beans that didn't come up--a mere three plants in a twelve-foot row. Was it the birds we saw hanging around, or something else? I put up a few aluminum foil flags around the edges, replanted the open spots, and watered faithfully every morning as well. A mere two more bean plants showed up. Dismayed, we checked the seed packets we had purchased. They were dated 2009. Good gravy! My anger flared at this point. We will never purchase seeds at that general store again. Fresh bean lovers we, we decided to try once again, with new seeds. Since my foil flags were not holding up well at this point, we also spread netting over the veggie garden. With no new results, we concurred we had erred in not planting the garden soon enough after breaking the soil. Other veggies were doing poorly, too, by this time.

I should have been warned when I saw a rabbit one morning in my highly prized annual bed a few weeks ago, but I decided just to "keep my eyes open" for possible trouble later. We left shortly thereafter for four days of family fun in Michigan over the July 4th weekend, and guess what we found when we returned? One whole corner chewed away, with a few flowering heads neatly clipped off. Fortunately the damaged plants were survivable yet, so we put up a fence---chicken wire, so I could still view my beloved "riots of color" from my kitchen sink window ( Chicken wire is close to invisible at this distance.) I also stuck into the damaged area a few more flowers from the neighborhood nursery.

We had not had these kinds of trouble before but, as with life, each year brings something new--sometimes bad, but a lot of the time good. The beans that are there are coming and we will soon know the joy of picking and eating veggies fresh from our yard. A bit late this year, but if the frost holds off, we'll still do well--along with frequent trips to the summertime farm markets.

Enjoying the fun of summer, despite our predators and bad luck this year,
Margaret

P.S. My regulars will notice that I have frequently been posting late in the day this summer. With my ornery back more ornery than usual and my helpful daughter still recovering from a somewhat debilitating ailment earlier this year, I hired a teenager from the neighborhood to help me keep up with yard work over the summer. I have to be out there with her the mornings she can come--usually Tuesdays. So look for me on Tuesdays, later in the day.

2011-07-08T11:57:00.002-05:00

For my loyal regular followers, who might want to hear my take on the Casey Anthony verdict, I am submitting a "special" on this topic.

Anthony Verdict Sound

We Americans, by virtue of the cry of outrage in the court of public opinion regarding this case, are upending everything this free and just society stands for. We say, "Innocent until proven guilty," but are we living it? Many of the public, including the media, had Casey tried and found guilty before the case ever went to the jury. But any thinking person who watched the murder case for any length of time saw and heard what the jury found to be true---that there simply was no evidence tying Casey Anthony to the death of her child, nor was the best of forensic specialists able to even determine the cause of death of little Caylee.

What does this say about our society today? Have we become so full of ourselves that we do not hear the voice of reason? Some of the public don't even seem to want to. Have we become so impatient that we cannot let processes unfold in their own good time? The real tragedy in the Casey Anthony case is that the prosecutors brought the case to trial too soon.

Margaret Houk
Darboy

2011-07-05T11:23:00.004-05:00

Honoring My Veteran

I am taking this opportunity to honor my veteran, in recognition of Independence Day, which we celebrated yesterday.

Following high school, my late husband Peter joined the U. S. Navy and served proudly for nearly four years, including during the Korean War. Even though he was never at the front line, it wasn't "easy duty," as he would say. Afterward, he never talked about his war service (veterans almost never do) except with friends who were military veterans. The first thing he did after he came home on leave following his war duty tour, he burned his uniform in the family trash barrel. This just didn't seem to jibe to me, since he always spoke so proudly of the military life and even encouraged young men in the family to consider it.

I never learned this until after he died, nor did I learn why. Peter had shared it with his closest brother, who told me one day. He had lived with the ear-shattering noise of offshore bombardment, day and night, for nearly a year. I don't know how he saved his hearing from that ordeal. I did know (because it made the newspapers) that his ship was hit once from return fire, with one man killed and several wounded. The deceased sailor slept in the bunk above Peter's.

Independence Day is not just our national birthday, it is also another occasion to remember those men and women who have contributed to the freedom and safety of the land we are privileged to live in. To thank and pray for those men and women who gave of their time and some their lives in the service of our country. Most if not all of them were proud to do so, despite any misgivings they may have had about the necessity of war or whether certain strategies were the best option. They just did it.

My husband valued his service time so much that he encouraged his all grandchildren to consider giving some time--short or long--to serving our country. He had learned about people, all kinds of people, he told me. But it was the character-building that he prized most--bringing him a strong sense of duty, obedience, honor, and valor. It was also a chance to give something back to a nation richly blessed by God, one that has given so much to its people.

In honor of our military and its veterans in honor of the nation they so courageously serve,
Margaret

2011-06-28T09:19:00.002-05:00

God and Gays

Lots of biblically faithful people are having difficulty with a Methodist wash of the gay marriage issue this past week in our community. Rightly so. The Christian church has long taken a big hit for its rejection of the gay lifestyle. The church's position has nothing to do with God's unconditional love for all people. That's a given, as anyone familiar with the Bible will confirm. The problem then is not with gays themselves but with their sexual behaviors, which God condemns.

If one looks at the creation process, it is not hard to find good reasons for the Bible's position. God created human beings with bodies designed to fit together naturally in a perfect union of male and female in the sex act. Our bodies are given no anatomical accommodation or modification to allow for sex with same sex partners or any other variations of the sex act. Gay sex has caused a number of medical problems for its participants. Heterosexual union has historically been the foundation stone of the social order in all civilizations. Anthropologists agree that any variation of the natural order creates an increasing decline of the social order into a state of chaos. Also, studies tell us that children progress and fulfill their destinies best when raised in a heterosexually parented home, assuming all other factors are constructive and emotionally healthy. Obviously, God's plan for home and family living is the best and healthiest for people in any society. That He rejects any other form of sexual behavior should come as no surprise, for the Bible states He wants what is best for people.

This truth is hard to accept in a society like ours where civil rights are more important than community health and where finding one's true self (rather than finding God's purpose for one's life) is paramount. History will show us who's way works best.

Speaking out for God's way on a controversial issue,
Margaret

2011-06-21T10:34:00.003-05:00

The Downside of Facebook

I opened my Facebook page a few days ago to read: "Do you think Margaret Houk showers daily?" "Do you think Margaret Houk is gay?" My daughter says she had a set of similar questions, one of which was "Do you think Tim (her son) could kill?" I was deeply offended, appalled at the gall that someone who would make such deeply personal statements in reference to me or my family members publicly and online. What was going on?

It turned out that a close and technically challenged friend of one of my daughters took a Facebook survey. Facebook took the information she thought was "just a joke" and used it to make these personal attacks. Apparently they were sent to everyone on our Facebook Friends lists. This friend never expected the info she gave would be used in such a manner. She never intended it would be used elsewhere nor did she give Facebook permission to do so. This, my friends, is the downside of Facebook. It's not likely to change or improve, since this is the way Facebook makes its money--by using and selling our personal information.

My daughter and I have removed all the personal data from our Facebook profiles. We both have privacy settings on our sites, but this could not prevent what happened. Still, it's out there now, and it can never be erased. Who knows what they will do with it? Facebook has come up with offensive uses of data before and backed off when the public complained. The problem is, they will keep trying to find new ways to use it because, again, their object is to make money off it. They're trying now to extend their reach to children. Be aware, parents, of what your children are doing online.

Facebook is not going away. It has been a great way to share family photos and the goings on in our personal lives with our friends. Apparently it played a major role in stimulating the pro-democracy movement in North African countries. I love following the humorous quips my sassy lovable rebel daughter comes up with regularly. But we've got to be aware and cautious about the misuse of our data and find a way to prevent it. Any ideas out there?

Surprised and distressed,
Margaret

2011-06-14T11:54:00.004-05:00

Riots of Color

Well, there will be, when we get there. What you see above is our third annual "annual bed," which Deb and I put in this past weekend. The back row will be tall plants--Black-eyed Susans in the middle with multi-colored giant zinnias next to them and Victoria blue salvias at the outsides. The middle row is centered by wine & lime green coleus with a new flower (for me) alongside them called gomphrena (deep fuchsia tiny button blossoms) and vanilla marigolds to the outsides. In the front row center sits another new plant called nierembergia, with short soft spikes holding white cup-shaped flowers, surrounded by flashy orange dwarf marigolds with one-inch blossoms, and at the sides red verbena with eyes. (Well, that's what they call them.) All this forthcoming beauty for only $35.

We didn't think we'd get the bed in this year, what with the very late spring and the soil unworkable for so long. Our vegetable garden behind the annual bed went in two weeks ago. That's a lot of work piled up to handle in a short time, but we found enough plants to do the annuals job yet last Friday and Saturday morning we put them in in less than two hours. I will send you another photo about a month from now, when the riot is in full swing.

There is nothing like annuals in the summertime. I have long grown perennials, which are so easy because you don't have to replant them every year. The problem is, they have short blooming seasons. Annuals keep giving week after week all summer long and up until frost. And nowadays you don't have to grow them from seed anymore; the florist shops and departments sell the starter plants by the plant, four-pack, or flat. It's so easy now, and what joy it is to see that abundance of blossoming out my kitchen sink window or the Great Room windows and patio doors--lots of great viewing for months on end. What a glorious gift for poor as well as rich, from our loving God!

Already enjoying the gorgeous scenery to come at home,
Margaret

2011-06-07T15:51:00.004-05:00

Build-a-Book Report # 11

Amazing Changes

Here I am, late again, and I didn't even get a chance to warn those of you who look for my post each Tuesday by my noon deadline. It's a self-imposed deadline, but I want to keep my regular followers happy by assuring them they can always find me here by that time each week.

Now to the reason. You may remember I said last week we had a family medical emergency here. It lasted all of last week until my daughter/house-mate had a medical procedure Friday morning to take care of the problem. It did and she is doing well now but needs some time to recover.

She takes care of the mowing and much of the other yard work around here because of my restrictive back pain problem of forty years. She was so tired about coming home from work yesterday that I made a decision, which she agreed to, to hire someone to help with yard work for the summer. Our vastly overgrown lawn (What does a hayfield look like?) badly needed some immediate attention, so I called around and found a high school girl who lives across the street and who was delighted to have a summer job. She came over shortly after, to get the mowing done before the heat of our 90-degree day laid everyone low. Her mom, an old friend, came along. I was outdoors all morning showing my garden girl what to do and where--well, most of you know the ropes.

What an amazing thing changes can be. When I woke this morning, we had a stressful, trying problem here that necessitated making a change. From difficulty, worries, fretting, and all that involves dealing with troublesome problems came a new and beautiful experience. My Newfie Sammy has to check everybody out who comes into the yard, so the first thing needed was to introduce him to B. and show her what a lovable mutt my huge big bear is--and giving her a chance to pat him gently before he had a chance to knock her over (out of love, of course). Then Debbie's shih tsu Precious, whom I have nicknamed Peanut, had to have her turn. Those of you who know dog sizes and temperaments know I'm not kidding when I say the little one rules the big one here, but he often manages to make his presence known first, for some reason.

Once B. got acquainted with the two dogs, we made a sight-seeing trip around the yard, pointing out boundaries and yard hazards. B's mom insisted B. learn all about mowers and taught her how to run ours. (I'm glad she knew because I long ago forgot.) Mom and I monitored the process while B. got her first job done. Walking behind her or off to the side a bit, my old friend and I got in a lot of catching up of family news and the like. Still, it took until noon. Well, that includes the lemonade break we all took halfway through.

This was such a great new development, I tossed my previously written post and wrote this new one to share with you this unexpected and very rewarding experience. It is said Jesus is there caring for us and our problems even when we forget He is around, and that certainly was true this morning.

I wish you all good and beautiful experiences when change knocks you around in your lives,
Your friend Margaret

2011-05-31T17:55:00.000-05:00

My post will be a bit late this time. Urgent garden duty calls before the rain hits this afternoon.

I'm Back! At 5:15 p.m.

Between potting container flowers for around the house, getting the veggie garden ready for planting, spending the holiday Sunday with church friends and yesterday with family, plus a medical emergency in the family last night--urgent but not serious, I woke this morning thinking I have nothing to share with my blog followers today. As happens so often in my walk with my dear God and Savior, the Spirit took over in the middle of coffee-with-the-news this morning and gave me a poem to share with you. To wit---

The Lord is my day,
The Lord is my song,
The Lord is my everything
All day long.

The Lord leads my path,
The Lord guards my life,
The Lord hovers overhead
No matter the strife.

The lord is my voice,
The Lord is my words,
The Lord is all of me
In all of my worlds.

About my book project--I spoke of a special development last week and it is simply this: I found a way to focus each chapter so that it deals with the topic, a struggling America, but nothing but the book's focus. With four chapters outlined accordingly, I have already screened out a number of clippings for each one that don't relate or belong in a book on a different topic. Needless to say, this will shorten the rest of my seemingly endless job of screening through my files for material for this book. It also gives me renewed energy to see the book start to take meaningful shape.

Another discerning thought--It will take a great deal of time to write a book on this topic. Though I will keep at it, I may end up shortly upgrading another book that I sold twice in the 1990s, but both times the contract feel through for reasons that had nothing to do with the book's textual material.

That's all this week. Take care, my dear friends and followers, and God be with you,
Margaret

2011-05-24T10:42:00.005-05:00

Build-a-Book Report # 9

Here is this week's "special" for your contemplation while I continue the tedious task of sorting and organizing the file material for my new book. Hang in there with me, as I have some new developments on that project coming up soon.

Moral Choices Today

As I watched the Billboard Music Awards Sunday night and heard about their worldwide tours, I couldn't help but wonder what other people around the world think of us. What is America (the U.S.) like? Is this how their people act? Cone breast covers and big protruding booties on the women circled the stage while the men thrust forth their prominent private parts in simulation of the sex act. Flashing neon bright colors streaked in and around their gyrating bodies. Dear God, I thought, Is this what America stands for, in their minds? It should come as no surprise that other races and cultures are questioning our modern moral choices.

Turn the dial. See God's view of this picture:
"These precious creatures are My creation. I love them dearly. But they don't know that. They probably know very little about Me, or if they do, they don't care what I think. If they did, they would not use their beautiful bodies--wonderfully made--to exalt meaningless passion over saving their bodies for the most intimate exquisite act of love for use with one's beloved spouse only. So magnificent is this love-in-action when rightly used, I have compared it in My Holy Word to my own relationship with My perfectly loved followers. What a sham humanity is making of something to vital to human soul-deep joy-filled happiness. What a loss to the true beauty of living!

"It is not too surprising to Me. I knew when the baby boomer generation threw off all symbols of authority in the late 1960s that their future and that of their children would be in jeopardy. Though they have long since realized that society is chaotic without a workable system of law and order, many have not yet realized their need of Me to keep their souls healthy, settled with the peace of God that passes all understanding. Even those who haven't given up on me are too busy with their material-driven prosperous lifestyles to remember Me and thank Me weekly on Sunday mornings--Me, the One who blessed this once heavily God-fearing nation with this prosperity. Who needs to commune with their Savior in remembrance of His holy sacrifice for them when the world has such pleasurable alternatives as golf or fishing, shopping, or dining in a nice restaurant?"

Yesterday morning the national news reported that a devastating tornado destroyed half the city of Joplin Missouri, ripping right through the middle of the town of 50,000. There have been more and more of these kinds of crises lately. To those who ask, "Where was God?" I reply, "How much evil will God allow to consume His creation until they start listening to Him again? Marriages are failing. The divorce rate is sky-rocketing. Job security is yesterday's story. And the popular shows on TV keep getting raunchier and increasingly filled with foul language and dysfunctional, senseless shows--even for teens and children. How long?" We live in an evil world. God did not cause that, but He does give us a better morally higher choice, one where values are constructive and people truly happier and content at a soul-deep level. It's our decision. And the price is free.

Your ever-loving book-writer and blogger,
Margaret

2011-05-17T10:32:00.005-05:00

Build-a-Book Report # 8

I've decided to give my blog readers on Tuesdays sneak previews into selections from my proposed book. I can't guarantee they will appear in the final version as written here, but I do want to bring you in on the fun part of writing, as much as possible. Meaning, it is a joy to see ideas move from the mind to the page and create thought-provoking ideas.

Here's one on one of my most heart-wrenching subjects: the expanding rate of divorce.

Divorce Has Become Commonplace

There has always been a need for divorce. People are human. They make mistakes. Even in Jesus' time 2000 years ago, he addressed the need for society to tolerate divorce, but with restrictions. Why the restraints? Because people get deeply hurt in a divorce--the worst, most stressful experience next to death, psychologists say. I suspect those who are hurt most in a divorce are the children living in that household. Studies have shown that, no matter how hard parents try to make it easier for the kids, it tears them apart in a rift they will never fully recover from. Like grieving a death, the children can move on. The hurt can heal over, on the surface. But the impact is always there, for a lifetime. Children's greatest need is for stability in their home life. That's why a child will opt to stay in a home that leaves a lot to be desired, emotionally. Divorce breaks their sense of security into two pieces. "Doesn't anything last, in my life? What can I depend on, for sure?"

It should come as no surprise that a rising rate of divorce would accompany the advent of the "me-first" self-actualization movement. Marriage is hard. It takes work and sacrifice. Before the present self-obsessed era, struggling married couples often stayed together solely "for the sake of the children." They found they had to work harder at working together, just to keep the household from steady turmoil. In doing so, they realized they could make things work and even come to appreciate and enjoy one another in the process, saving and rejuvenating their marriage.

A nation is only so strong as its people are contented and energized by the family and friends who support them. If we want to keep our nation strong, we must work to strengthen the basic social institution on which a society is founded---the generic family. Divorce cannot help but weaken people's personal lives, carrying over into every other aspect of their lives. If we want to leave our children with a good, strong nation to live in, we have to work on this blight in our society. The place to start is with our attitudes towards marriage.

God bless you with a great week. Enjoy the late, but finally here coming of Spring.

Your blogging book-writing friend,

Margaret

2011-05-10T10:40:00.003-05:00

Build-a-Book Report # 7

My book outline is filling in, slowly but surely. It takes time. I realized a few days ago that this book is the culmination of decades of work I've spent taking notes and saving articles on the various issues I am covering. Consequently, I still have quite a ways to go. I need to have not only all the subjects I plan to cover but also a good idea of where I am going in each one. Also a must is whether the research needed to develop each topic is available. An author does not have to have the completed text for a book in order to secure a contract for a book, because a publisher will often change part of a proposed book, leading it in a slightly different direction than the author intended. Case in point: with my first book on self-esteem for teens, the publishing house said, "Get practical." So I revised the text to show how to apply self-esteem to such teen interests as personal appearance, getting along with people, and building friendships. What publishers do want is a sound idea, developed uniquely and well, and written in an interesting manner.

My best discovery this week has been that my notes are truly revolving around the outline I sketched out a month ago. I added one new chapter topic, "The Mixed Effects of Technology" on our society and personal lives. We have long known the value. Now we are beginning to see some down sides, such as how computer games and even social websites such as Facebook are actually isolating us from the healthy interaction we and our families need to nurture our relationships. If any of you have a story to tell illustrating this down side of technology, please send it to me and I will use it if I can.

Also, as a Thank-You to my regular followers for sticking with me through my book project, I'd like to give you a quick review of a book I read this past week. Philip Yancey is one of may favorite authors. His The Jesus I Never Knew is an award-winning study of the life and impact of Jesus, written from a completely objective point of view. He used one source, the gospels, and extensive writings that support his findings about what he reads there. He covers who Jesus was (his history), why he came (his teachings, especially in the sermon on the mount and why he did what he did during Holy week), and what he left behind (how the church grew from a mustard seed of eleven disciples into one of the world's foremost religions, numbering in the billions. If you take the time to read it you will find a different Jesus from the one you grew up with--a truer and much stronger understanding and love for our Savior, who gave up so much for each one of us.

Have a good week, with God's blessings and my best wishes,
Margaret

2011-05-03T10:12:00.002-05:00

Build-a-Book Report # 6

Last Thursday morning I received a phone call informing me that my late husband's youngest brother--and the last surviving member of the Emory and Jeanne Houk clan--had died. It was not a complete surprise; he had been critically ill for some time. But for me it was the third time a sibling or sibling in-law had died in the past two months, the last two just twelve days apart. I guess it is common to have this happen at my age. Nevertheless it overwhelmed me. So much loss, in such a short time. There are not many family members left with whom I can share the happenings during my growing up and early marriage years. Laughs to share, and sorrows to bear together. Obviously this is one of the most painful parts of living long in years.

Not too surprisingly, again this week I haven't spent much time on my book. But I do get snippets (one of my favorite words; can't you tell?) of inspiration here and there. I do have one short gem for you this morning to digest on. Rabbi Marc Gellman in today's "God Squad" column revealed his view on gays and gay marriage, and I was pleased to find that his views closely resemble mine. There is so much misunderstanding in the Christian church about what the church's proper approach should be that I rejoice when I see the love of God for gays emphasized, as it rightly should be, while there also needs to be a respect for God's obvious objection to gay sexual relations.

Gellman attributes the Bible's position against gay relations to be based on the need for children to have a heterosexual family. He says, "All the texts and all the yelling on both sides must confront this simple spiritual and moral belief: that kids need both a mommy and a daddy." He suggests this may be an immoral position (I do not), but adds that "A strong case must be made that will justify throwing over a tradition that's never been overthrown before in the history of humankind." My concern, based on research, is that gay marriage not only collapses the basic social structure on which every society is built, it also creates greater chaos in this vitally important social structure. History reveals that a number of cultures have disappeared from the face of this earth. I can't help but wonder if this is the reason why. If you feel so inclined, I'd love to hear your thoughts on this issue.

Signing off for this week,
A grief-burdened Margaret

2011-04-25T19:27:00.005-05:00

Build--a-Book Report #5

It's been a short work week, what with leaving early Thursday for West Michigan and the family gatherings and funeral surrounding the death of my older brother. All return planes on Saturday were late, most likely due to the loss of a portion of St. Louis, Missouri's airfield due to a tornado Friday night. My run from one end of O'Hare Field in Chicago to the other to catch my last flight home will make a good family story for years to come. Picture a hair-raising dash, pulling a suitcase and toting a large bag...

My book news to date: I have tested and tried my America Struggling topics until they sifted down now to a tentative sixteen chapters, filling in some of them with chapter outline material. I've mentioned the full title of this book, America: A Nation Struggling for Its Soul, to a number of people and have been getting lots of positive and inquisitive interest thereby--a very good thing, so I will most likely use that as my working title when I submit the book to publishers. My job now is to come up with equally compelling chapter titles. A few I particularly like so far, (with the content thrust in parentheses) are:

o America's Soul: What and Where? (Comes from the Declaration of Independence, Constitution, Bylaws, and the historical perspectives that developed from them)

o The Mammoth Loss of Religion (in Everyday Life, and its ramifications).

o Our Disappearing Freedoms (including political correctness, the ultimate discriminator)

o Justice Is Missing (in our courts and legal system)

o A Culture Without Moorings (Money is our god. We are sex-obsessed. We are isolating ourselves from family and friends with addictive TV and computer use. We lack civility and good manners.)

o Democracy Gone Amok (Our political campaigns have turned into acceptable slaughter; the amount of money spent too often determines who wins; and outside interests rule our representatives, not the people anymore.)

o Broken Family Values (Once a sacred trust, marriage is no longer considered necessary; divorce is commonplace; many families do not spend much if any time enjoying one another's company; and the role of fathers has been grossly undervalued)

o Our Neglected Children (With many, their needs have been devalued, they do not get much quality time from parents, and they do not have sufficient boundaries set and disciplinary rules established. Contrariwise, some parents are mistakenly pushing their children to get ahead and to be "above the crowd" and are mandating them to attend college, regardless of their actual skills and talents.)

What do you think of these? Do they attract strong interest? I will be covering also the present state of the education and the health care systems, church life, work life, personal life, community life, and the media and entertainment worlds. Can you think of any other influence in modern life that needs addressing? I am open to any other suggestions you readers have to send me. Your input is highly important to me because it gives me a feel for what most people are troubled by today.

Thank you and go with God's blessings,
Margaret

2011-04-19T10:04:00.006-05:00

Build-a-Book Report #4

Last week I spent three days dragging across the dry desert of writer's block until finally, on Friday morning, the Spirit returned and I began to dig in again and lay out the opening paragraph of my America's Struggling Soul book. Frankly, I think I was struggling worse than any American I know of, during this time. Dry times are very frustrating for me. But they have their purpose, in God's scheme of things, I am sure.

One of those dry days I ran essential errands, like for a color cartridge for my printer. A writer cannot live without her color cartridge. It puts the pizazz in my business cards, which I had run out of, and this being the Fox Cities Book Festival week, I was taking in this event and that, and many times ran into people who, once they learned I was a published writer, wanted my business card. ( That last is called a run-on sentence, but I like to do them once in awhile. It's just plain fun!) Correction (my conscience is calling): I wanted them to to have my business card, so that they will recognize my name when my next book comes out. But I do it the right way; I always wait until they say, "Oh, you're a published writer!" It never ceases to amaze me that the general public is so awed by writers who've had at least one book put into print. It's kind of a nice perk to being in this business. Moving on, they always ask the guaranteed next question, "What are your books about?" So then I pull out a few of my List of Books by Margaret Houk cards, which are conveniently (always) in my purse. I use a bit of color on them, too, but only for emphasis.

I've also, even on the dry days, been tinkering with title ideas for my book's chapters. (We're still on America Struggling here. ) One I particularly like is "Political Children," which as you might guess is a call to politicians, in Madison as well as D.C., to grow up, stop squabbling, and put some hard effort into the difficult job of deciding where and how to cut our chronic overspending habits without wrecking some of the vital infrastructure in our society. Like education, which has been struggling with inadequate budgets for several years now, and helping services for the poor, which are the favorite targets of people who don't know what it's like to be poor. I have a solution for the latter: No politician should ever, ever be allowed to cut services for the poor or lower middle classes until they have spent at least one week of observation working alongside a social worker.

That's all for now. This will be another short work week for me. My older brother passed away last Saturday and I will be in Michigan later this week for the family gatherings and funeral. One thing I have learned about funerals in recent years is that, if yours is or was a happy family, these gatherings are good times of sweet memories. It's that way for me, plus I think it's so important to let family-far-away know that you are supporting them through difficult times, despite the many miles between you. Even when you've not been emotionally close, as is the case here. Every time together has been sweet and loving. Plus we all share the promise of our Lord Jesus that we'll all be reunited in God's eternal world some day. So its' a time of mixed blessings.

With many joys and some tears this week,
Margaret

2011-04-12T10:35:00.001-05:00

Build-a-Book Report #3

The work on my two new books goes on...

Last Wednesday I discovered that an agency that has long interested me has opened its doors to new clients again, so I took time out from my book-writing to study what to look for in an agent, what questions to ask them, and what to expect from them. This agency fit the bill well for my type of writing, so I drew up a query letter (letter of inquiry) pitching my Bible overview book specifically and my other unpublished books in general, including those I am now working on. Most agents want to develop their writers as a whole--the reason I needed to list all my works. I have been wanting a good agent for so long, having tinkered with a few that for various reasons didn't look good or didn't work out. So, Lord, it's up to you now.

As the week went on, I managed to pull together an outline for the second book, the one about America's Struggle for Its Soul, digging through the numerous clippings I regularly collect almost daily and plunk into my resource files. I ended up with thirty-six chapters, but that's not a final number--just an initial thrust. Some of them won't be worth developing, some won't make a good chapter, and some will be deemed along the way to belong elsewhere. In my resource files I discovered about three other outlines of chapter contents from earlier attempts to start this project, some of them with a better development than my present one. Thus began the tedious task of sifting through all of them to find my best ideas to date. This is one of the hardest parts of writing---knowing what to throw out, what to move to another project, and what to toss. "Finding my focus," I guess you would call it. It's like pulling sandburs out of your sox, one at a time--slow, trying, and tedious. I'm struggling with it daily and may be for some time.

Thanks for staying with me. Do you have any questions on what I've said so far or any other questions on the writing process? Please don't hesitate to e-mail me at marghouk@juno.com.

Your friendly but frustrated (gritting my teeth) writer,
Margaret

2011-04-05T10:16:00.003-05:00

Build-a-Book Report #2

Eighty percent of a writer's time must go into promotional activity. Not only does this give authors more exposure in their centers of influence, publishers expect it. Since they put $ 40,000 -$ 58,000 into every new book, they have a legitimate right. With that in mind, I took time last Wednesday to send a letter of introduction to a local bookstore that recently came under new ownership. I also wrote the rough draft of a letter inviting two well-known authors to review and (hopefully) endorse a book I have listed with a Christian manuscript submission service. It pays to think high, in this business. They can always say no.

I took notes that day from a TV interview for my Truth book. This was a prize-winning example of "make-up-the-news-if-you-don't-have-any-today." ABC News interrupted Prince Harry's trip to the polar region with a group of wounded veterans to ask if he was going to work on his "best man" wedding toast while there. What a ridiculous question! This is news? Not to me. Besides, the location was totally inappropriate for such a task. Rightly, he told the reporter he was "here for the men." I also took notes from a devotional reading that illustrated "stretching the truth." Two in one day. A good day for me. These stories that illustrate points I am making are vitally important to the writing process; they make the book I am putting together more lively, interesting, and meaningful.

On Thursday I noticed I had worn eight pencils down to a stub already. When I started writing, in pre-computer days, I wrote all my first drafts by pencil, but when I got my first computer I found I could get my inspired thoughts down faster and more accurately by typing directly into the computer. Now I'm back to pencils again. Blog posts are much shorter than most articles and book chapters, and inspiration for my posts comes anytime, anywhere---at the kitchen table during breakfast, in church (Sorry, Pastor), lounging in my easy chair, or in bed--everywhere except the shower. (It's too wet there, but I've thought about it. :) So it's just easier to use a pencil right now.

Studying how Facebook uses business pages was on my "to do" list last week. Then suddenly, Thursday night, I got off-script in my writing. My scribbling related more to the topics in the book I'd left behind than my current one, but I took down the notes anyway. What comes comes, and I have to use it all, so long as it fits my topics. So now I'm all about writing two books, off and on, this spring. I hope you will hang in there with me. Even though I don't complete the whole book when I send in book proposals to publishers for their consideration, this still may take some time. Are you finding my Build-a-Book posts enjoyable reading? I hope so. It would help me to know.

Your avid happy scribbler,
Margaret

2011-03-29T10:28:00.004-05:00

Greetings to my readers, regular followers and new. I have invited a number of my followers who just check in now and then to join in on watching this book-building process, if they are so inclined. New readers, you may want to read last week's post--an introduction to this project.

Build-a Book Report #1

Last Wednesday, the starting day for this book, was also the Giant Storm day here. You can tell from last week's post that I was very anxious to get started and that carried over. Since my newspaper (my usual waker-upper) didn't get here until mid-afternoon, I got an early chance to get going, and that I did. The first action I took, however, was to change the working title. As I looked at it with an editor's eye, I realized that "Marriage Is Not a Civil Right" gives people the impression that I am anti-gay, and that is not true. Also, the book is about many misconceptions, and this one is so controversial, I felt it might be more discreet to come up with one that better represents the full book content. So my new working title is Finding Truth in a World Flooded with Misconceptions. I may change that again, but so far I find it fits well. Let me know your reaction to it, if you would. Good titles are vitally important to good book sales, so I like to get a lot of outside input on mine. Eventually the publisher will make the final decision, but three of my four publishers so far went along with my suggestions, with one making a small change.

On Wednesday I wrote like crazy and finished the first chapter, "Where Did the Truth Go?" I also jotted down more misconceptions that would make good subsequent chapters. Thursday I took time off to get out my taxes (which I had originally planned to do on Wednesday, but the writing spirit moved in instead). On Friday I soared back in and wrote the second chapter, "Political Correctness Is Politically Incorrect." I've been wanting to write a book on that topic alone for some time, but I'm going to see how it fits as a chapter. A writer can soon tell, once the body of the writing starts. If I can't say what I need to say in a shorter work, I will have to put out a separate book. I also added more misconceptions.

I d0n't work on weekends. That's my time off, even to not generally doing the e-mail and Facebook thing. I need this time to get away from the intense work of thinking through my writings. Off and on over the weekend, however, I added again to the list of misconceptions. I write ideas down when they come, and that can be anytime, anywhere. I now have a list of fifteen and a possible final chapter on Reinstating the Truth. I'm not sure I like this last, but it's a possible diving board for something better. I also came up with a good promotional that sets the course for what I want to do in this book: "With stunning insight, Margaret unveils the underlying truths that confuse and frustrate Christian and caring citizens on many of today's controversial issues." I welcome your input on that focus, too.

I won't go any further on chapter titles because they aren't sufficiently developed as yet. Ideas change a lot. Some don't pan out. Others don't fit the book. Still others morph into something else. So until I get there, I'll just keep silent about them.

That's all for this week. Thanks for stopping by. And if you are enjoying watching this process of putting a book together, please tell your family and friends to see if they might want to join in on the fun.

Sincerely,
Margaret

2011-03-22T10:08:00.003-05:00

Odds and Ends

When three God things come together for me at about the same time, I pay close attention.

You may recall I mentioned a few weeks back that I was starting a new book. Imagine my surprise then when, a few short days later, a totally different book project fell into place for me. I came up with a good working title for a book on a topic I've long wanted to write on. The title is Marriage Is Not a Civil Right and Other Modern Misconceptions. The theme idea for the book is: What kind of world does our next generation of children need to grow up in in order to have emotionally healthy and happy lives? My concern is that the children's needs have been hidden in this "me-first" recent thought-world.

Before long I got on a roll and came up with over a dozen ideas that would make good chapters for a book on that topic. Then it occurred to me that I probably have in my master files enough supportive material to fill out most of what I will need to make up a completed outline for the book. And the third God thing is, I just discovered last week that I have a slot already paid for in my favorite online Christian Manuscript Submission service (by mistake from an earlier submission). Is that a hint, or what?

All I need now to complete a proposal ready for the marketplace is some large unbroken chunks of time to write up and polish the outline and a couple of sample chapters and to write up the cover material for a prospective publisher. At the same time, it's been nearly a year since I launched this blog. So some free time at this point would also give me a chance to tweak my focus and evaluate with some wisdom-enhancing distance whether it is doing the job I intended. I could use some help from you out there in this last direction. If you have any suggestions or comments, please let me know.

With both of these projects in mind, I've decided to take a few weeks off from my blog-writing ministry. I will update you, my dear readers, on Tuesdays each week to let you know how things are going. I'm thinking you might enjoy watching a book go through the whole development process--from initial idea up to market-ready.

Your highly excited can't-wait-to-get-started writing friend,
Margaret

P.S. In response to my recent request, one of my faithful readers suggested this devotion book as one she finds spiritually edifying: From Faith to Faith--a Daily Guide to Victory by Kenneth and Gloria Copeland.

2011-03-18T10:53:00.002-05:00

Mutual Respect

You're talking to a friend at church. The conversation turns to the Wisconsin Budget Repair Bill, and you find yourself on the other side of the river ideologically from someone you were pretty sure was "on your side." Make that the Mississippi River. At its widest point.

Some topics, like the above, draw out strong feelings. Most of us stop talking at that point, or change the subject. But is that the best way to go? And what happens if you are in a discussion group, as I was recently, and find your viewpoint washed away in a flood of differing opinions, all opposing yours?

Feelings tend to run hot, and sometimes when they do, people do not act rationally. At times like this, I think it's best to walk away until tempers cool. Other times, when the people you are with are prone to open discussion, it's good to listen. My daughter and I were discussing the Madison protests one day recently, about which we don't totally agree, when she blurted out, "It's all about a major power shift, Mom." Yes! I got clarity, all because I listened.

We've found we can discuss just about anything without even raising our voices because we have mutual respect. Mutual respect shares, but also listens. And both parties are wiser for the experience.

Respecting your thoughts, dear readers, with a listening heart,
Margaret

2011-03-15T10:24:00.003-05:00

Dear Readers:
I am departing from my usual types of features to share with you a letter I am e-mailing to our U.S. President Barak Obama. The reason will become obvious as you read it, and I am sharing it with you so that those of you who support the thoughts contained herein will have the opportunity to inform the President accordingly.

President Obama and the DOMA

The Honorable U.S. President Barak Obama:

Your recent action in refusing to support the Defense of Marriage Act and informing the Justice Department to do so also is out-of-order. The U.S. President is charged by the U. S. Constitution with the enforcement of the laws of the United States.* It is the job of the legislatures to make and pass our laws, and the job of the Supreme Court to interpret them. Your job as chief executive is to carry out existing laws, whether you agree with them or not. You may want to change them, if you think they are wrong, but you not have the right to refuse to support them, as long as they are existing law. Think a moment: What kind of role model does this make you for the children of this country? If you can disobey laws you don't like, can't they also? Don't you see the harm done here?

Incidentally the DOMA is needed for far more important reasons than to discourage gay marriages. Marriage is NOT as civil right, as many claim and would like to think. It is not a right at all but an institution--the foundation stone of any society that wants to provide emotionally healthy stable families for children to grow up in. The traditional family has taken many hits in recent decades. Ask any anthropologist and they will tell you that the gradual deterioration of healthy family life and structure in the past several decades is bringing more and more chaos in society. Case in point: just look at the skyrocketing divorce rate and the detrimental affect it has on the children involved.

Do what is right, Mr. President. Gay persons need their personal rights respected and supported, yes, but this does not include marriage. To have a strong people, we need strong, emotionally healthy families. We need the DOMA.

A concerned citizen,
Margaret Houk

* Funk & Wagnalls Standard Reference Encyclopedia

2011-03-11T07:11:00.002-06:00

Saying the Wrong Thing

Have you ever blurted out something and then wished you could take the words back? I suspect all of us have, at one time or another. For me, it's a bad habit. When I'm inspired to write, the words flow out from my brain in a gusher and I struggle to get them written down as fast as I can, before I lose any. I have lost some really good stuff a number of times because I didn't take the time to get them down just then, or couldn't because of circumstances. Unfortunately, when one carries over this trait to the outflow from the mouth, it's out there for everyone to hear, along with all the bloopers, blunders, and spoiled fish the spoken words create. I think when I get to heaven, the first thing St. Peter is going to say (he runs the gate, you see) is, "Okay, what bad thing did you spit out this week? Did you do penance for it? Have you apologized yet? Did you make amends?" One can't get in until all the repentance stuff is taken care of, you know. By this time, my face will have drooped to about the level of my knees.

My last bad blooper happened the weekend of our family funeral. One of Rhea's granddaughters, a highly talented seventeen-year-old, had written five years earlier a poem about her grandmother that was read during the service. We were remarking afterwards about how well and lovingly it captured the traits and characteristics of her grandma--her practical shoes, her love of the color blue, etc.-- and what a great future lay ahead for this budding literal artist. Then I blurted out to Lauren with all my knowledgeable expertise, "But of course you won't be able to make a living at it." Just what she needed to hear; right? Wrong! It does take years for the vast majority of artists to make a living at their crafts and very few do, but occasionally a bright star breaks through early. So why discourage her? Because the mouth always runs ahead of the brain, at least here. Very rarely will you see a first draft appear here in print.

There's one other time the mouth is sure to outsmart the upper story. That is when someone questions my credentials as a writer. I haven't spent forty years and one month sitting in creative writing classes annually, wearing down dozens of pencils to stubs, and later putting callouses on my typing fingers without learning something. Who cares that my first book came out too late to put my eldest daughter through college, as I'd hoped. Make that much too late. And that, even if I had, its total proceeds might have paid her first semester's expenses--at a state college. Don't miss that "might." Well, you get the idea. Ever heard of starving artists? That's not a fairy tale.

Writers write because they have a message to share with the world. Lauren's poem depicted the very essence of the grandmother she loved, and she saw this at the very young age of twelve. That's her genius. She'll do well. I hope I didn't discourage her. But then, being the gifted writer she already is, it won't matter. She writes because she loves to write. Her mother says the words just flow right out of her suddenly in a stream. Yes, she's got it! Nothing will stop her, because that the way it is with gifted writers. Not even her loud-mouthed bumbling great aunt's blooper will be able to stop her.

Spouting out my best to you, my treasured readers,
Margaret

2011-03-08T09:59:00.003-06:00

God and Coffee

The best thing about every new day is that cup of coffee that's already made and sitting in my pre-programmed coffeepot just waiting for me. Oh, yes, I do take some early time also with my Best Friend, but he comes sweeter because the coffee already has gotten me roused and moving. (I didn't say "thinking." That takes a bit longer.) They make a good combination, these two. Ever notice that? God and coffee. Spiritual boost and physical boost, to start each new day.

I also take time to read the morning paper. My newspaper reminds me that the Lord has work for me to do that has more to do with the community outside my front door than with the individual sitting in my chair. In my early married life, my husband and I lived for six months in a small community that had no access to national news. (Yes, this was even pre-television. I'd like to say that I'm not that old, but unfortunately that wouldn't be true.) Anyway, I felt as though I was living on a near-deserted island. I like to know what's going on in the world. I always have.

I'd like to invite those of you who can to join me. What morning devotional do you use? I like Lifeways' Journey along with a basic prayer book. Or do you have a different favorite way to start your day? Please let me know and I'll share yours with that of others.

Sipping, reading, loving you all, and growing each day,
Margaret

2011-03-04T09:56:00.002-06:00

Puddle-Jumpers and Test Tubes

I don't know about you, but every time I sit in an airplane seat with the plane revving up its engines and powering full thrust down the runway, I pray 10,000 prayers. In my mind, there is no way a huge narrow metal barn weighing tons and tons can make it off the ground. It's much too heavy. That's just plain common sense. Needless to say, I did make it. The flight from Appleton to Detroit to Saginaw and back uses puddle-jumpers--50-seat regionals spare on accoutrements and sure to offer a few bumps and twists for adventure in-flight. This is no 747 or 380, friends. They're not a cheap ride either. But they get us where we need to go with a number of flight time choices, so all-in-all they do a nice job.

The nice thing about funerals is that they bring family members together who rarely get a chance to keep up on extended family news. After the memorial service last Saturday our gang sat in a wide circle in chairs and on my brother-in-law's living room floor, telling family stories and more stories, some hearty laughs, and more stories. As the pastor at the service said, "These times are for celebrating a life," and that we did, majorly. I was so glad I could be there. Who would think a funeral would be fun? But they are, when you have a family that has always worked well together, as ours has.

About the test tubes--As I sat at the kitchen table Monday morning writing down some observations about the weekend's events, I was seized with painful throat and high chest spasms. Not the first time I've had this happen. I have a cranky esophagus. But when a blood pressure check showed sky-high blood pressure, I figured I had better yet checked out for possible heart problems. They run in my family. Two days later I got a full reprieve, so maybe now I can finally get back to work.

Somewhere along the way this past week I got a heart-tugging vision of how to start out my next book. You'll hear more on that later, as the ideas flesh out. A hint--It's about struggles in our culture: past, present, and future. Meanwhile, it's great to be back online with you.

Still here with more to come,
Margaret

2011-02-24T13:55:00.004-06:00

Just another update...

My sister-in-law, Rhea Houk Polson, died of colon cancer on Tuesday, so I am flying to her home in Saginaw, Michigan for the weekend for the memorial service and family sharing.

Have you ever tried to get a flight out-of--town at the last minute, at a decent fare? I spent 2 1/2 hours on the phone yesterday morning and still couldn't find anything in the low to mid hundreds. My daughter from Green Bay and a second from Ft. Atkinson are going to drive over, given the high flight fares. With a back that's seen forty years of trouble and five surgeries, an eight-nine hour drive twice within a couple of days was out of the question for me, but I did find one seat on a Delta carrier available this morning and took it. Sometimes we have to accommodate these personal quirks of ours, just for the sake of comfort and sanity.

My next post will be Tuesday or Friday of this coming week, depending on how things go. I am getting used to funerals these days, if one ever does get used to them. Rhea was so courageous in her three-year battle, but cancer is an ugly killer and her case was very much so at times. So I leave her in God's beautiful hands, knowing her suffering is over now and she can join her two older brothers in Jesus' world.

Until I get back to the grind, I remain your friend and hopefully interesting writer,
Margaret

2011-02-22T10:05:00.003-06:00

Purity

I ran across this word this morning, and I smiled. It's such an old-fashioned Victorian-style word, one hardly hears it anymore except in church perhaps. I wonder if the many people raised in the era of sexual freedom realize that "purity" is a beautiful term, in many ways.

According to Merriam-Webster's Dictionary, to be "pure" is to be unmixed with any other matter; free from dust, dirt, or taint; spotless, stainless; free from harshness or roughness. On the plus side, it is "being in tune, musically." Another definition is "free from what vitiates, weakens, or pollutes; containing nothing does not properly belong." Doesn't that sound impressive and sound in nature? Purity stands for cleanliness, clean actions, and meticulous choosing of how well you will care for your body, inside and out. It requires a very high regard for one's self, not out of arrogance but simply for good physical and emotional health. Sexual purity frees the holder from many diseases caused by sexual carelessness, recklessness, and debauchery.

Many people in our culture today would have us believe that purity is old-fashioned and not practiced much anymore. They are wrong. God's followers have steadily pursued pure lives. If you doubt this, ask the people of the Church that you know. They will tell you that there is a rare, pristine quality of life to being and staying pure in mind, action, and heart. In contrast, the carnal pleasures of this world and the joys of boisterous partying have shallow roots that offer no deep satisfaction or underlying contentment to one's life.

To be the only sexual partner your spouse has ever known is to experience another kind of freedom, a special kind. The sex act, at its best, is not a competition, it is an expression of love---the fulfillment of the closest kind of intimacy. This, I believe, is why God finds a parallel with the sexual act and his relationship with his devoted followers. In Revelation 21 John talks about the people of God being "a bride adorned for her husband." He calls Jesus the Bridegroom. Such intimacy is marred and scarred unless it is protected by a singular devotion to purity and holiness.

God shows people the way and helps us attain and maintain purity. The Bible tells us in Psalm 119:9-10 (format and punctuation mine):
"How can young people keep their way pure? By guarding it according to (God's) word."
"With my whole heart I will seek you; do not let me stray from your commandments."

Enjoying the freedom and joy of pure living,
Margaret

2011-02-18T10:43:00.003-06:00

How Amenable Are You?

I read this in my morning devotion Wednesday:

"Are we out of cheese?" I asked as I searched the small refrigerator at our family's vacation cabin.
"We'll pick some up on the way back from the lake," Dad said.
My sister Sherry wrestled her two-year-old into his swim trunks. "Cheese isn't worth stopping for."
"You mean it's not worth it for you," I said as I sprinkled grated cheddar on my sandwich.
"Are we really that desperate for cheese?" Sherry asked.

It's impossible to know all the ins and outs of a relationship from just a clip, but one thing here stands out. Sherry didn't want to go out of her way to please her sister. She was not being "amenable." This attitude, fairly common today, is probably an outgrowth of the "me generation" thinking that came into being in the 1970 and 1980s. Unfortunately. Because self-absorbed people are not happy. They divorce because they can't get enough "me" stuff and then are unhappy because they are alone and lonely so often. They insist on their own way and then find themselves short of meaningful friendships because, well, others want their views heard.

Happiness does not come from pleasing one's self. It comes from helping and serving and pleasing others. As Jesus said, "Love your neighbor as yourself."* Being amenable is a great way of life, once you get in the habit. You find that other people love to have you around.

Loving God and others--and then myself,
Margaret

* Matthew 22:39 NIV

2011-02-15T10:56:00.003-06:00

Post for Feb. 15th...

After spending a terrific weekend attending the Garden Expo, swimming, shopping, and trying out the good restaurants in Madison with half a dozen friends, mostly from church, I returned home only to have the abdominal flu fly through our house, leaving me counting the steps between the couch and the bathroom for the past two days. So, alas! I have no writing gift to give you today. I could throw in some unedited work, but I have too much respect for my readers to do that. So look for me again Friday, when I've had a chance to catch up on lots of little stuff and come up with something good for my next post.

Stay safe, stay healthy!
Margaret

2011-02-11T08:11:00.004-06:00

I'm doing another "List thing" today. I enjoy these from time to time. Let me know if you do, too.

Things I Find Demoralizing about TV Today

It has become okay to be...

... nasty. Ricky Gervais hosting the Golden Globes

... sexually overcharged. Recent Glees

... superficial about relationships. The Bachelor

... to spread hurtful gossip. The celebrity "Entertainment" shows

... dysfunctional in family life. The Simpsons

... mean-spirited. House

... to watch lurid wild behavior by teens. MTV's "Skins"

Feel free to add to my list, and I'll update it early next week. E-mail me at marghouk@juno.com, Comment (below), or click on right to reach my Facebook page

Looking for better from the television industry,
Margaret

2011-02-08T10:15:00.002-06:00

Teen Survey Results

I didn't get very many responses to my survey on deterrents to teen happiness (below). Our Internet service went out at a critical time--Saturday afternoon through Monday noon of the first weekend. I'm sure that contributed to the poor showing, but the responses I did get, plus a little contemplation, quickly showed me that my question was far too simplistic. There is no single factor that deters teen happiness. The teen experience, in life and school, is a challenge, full of ups and downs. It was that way for me, a number of years ago, and it is even more so nowadays. I did gain some insights to share, however, as follows:

One factor that showed up in every response was the need to fit in, the desire to be accepted by peers. Obviously for most if not all students, this is a serious concern. My high school had two social circles: "the wealthy sophisticates" who were exclusive, and a clan of good students with leadership interests and potential that was somewhat open. Always on the edge of friendly with the latter, I shared with one of them one day during my junior year an idea to improve the workings of our student body. When the senior class committee was formed early the next year, I was asked to join them on the basis of my suggestion and was invited to a few of their parties. On the other hand my future husband, who I began dating that year, was part of a foursome in another high school that was active in school activities from their freshman year on and that remained friends for a lifetime. Though the social leader groups of both high schools planned "mixers" where all school students were invited, many students didn't attend and most never felt they were part of a school-based social group. From what I've heard, I'm sure that things are as difficult in today's student life, if not more so. I have no answers as to how one could better meet that need. If you have any ideas to share, please let me know and I will share them with our readers.

Another critical need that is poorly met these days is the need for a faith life. Most parents today are not members of a church and do not see the need to build in their children's life a faith in God that will be a source of strength and courage when life's problems come along, which they do to everyone, sooner or later. Nature shows us that there is a divine Creator, and He wants to be recognized, honored, and praised by His creation. Furthermore, sin and error are present in everyone's life, including teens, and along with that comes the need for a Savior who will forgive them and reconcile them with that Creator, whose rules for living we all have broken. My husband and I were both active in our respective church youth groups, and this was no small contributor to our social life during our teen years. In fact, it was on a church youth group hayride that I met my future husband. Youths also have many questions about what life is all about, what is the purpose of it, and why and for what reason were they born. The answers to these questions come only through faith and an understanding of the Bible, God's guidebook for the human race. In addition to all these benefits, many churches today offer youths the opportunity annually to take part in youth mission trips to help impoverished people paint their homes, fix up their playgrounds, and the like, as well as bring them the gospel message.

A few other responses bear special mentioning. Certainly current cultural influences set up unreasonable expectations of teens, regarding how they should look and act. Also the effects of divorce on a household where there are teens creates great difficulties for them in many areas, since next to death, divorce is the most stressful of all human behavioral experiences.

One responder had an insightful recipe for navigating successfully through the teen years---having one adult who will steadfastly affirm the teen and keep them moving in a positive direction. Would you like to add a few thoughts of your own about on how to make the challenge of the teen years a little easier or better--something that would be helpful and informative? If I get sufficient interest, I'll pick up on this. Otherwise, my thanks to those of you who contributed to this survey.

Thankfully and respectfully,
Margaret

2011-02-04T10:47:00.002-06:00

I am under the weather this morning, so I have no new post today. My posts will resume next Tuesday.

Margaret

2011-01-28T11:45:00.003-06:00

Teen Happiness Survey

I recently had an eye-opening experience, after watching a movie that teens from Neenah High School in Neenah, Wisconsin created regarding cliches, racism, and bullying in their school. The climate the movie showed was strangely foreign to that I experienced when I was in school in the Middle Ages (It feels that long ago). Following up on the discussion on my last post about the importance of respect, I am anxious to find out just what does deter today's teens from experiencing happiness in their school lives.

Do you have teens in middle and/or high school? Or are you close to a family teen? If so, please participate in the survey below. Have the teens themselves answer, if at all possible. It's not official, of course, but maybe it would give us all a bit more insight into what school is like for today's youths.

__________________________________________________________

Question: What is the greatest deterrent to happiness for today's teens?

A. Drug use and/or alcohol addiction

B. Divorce

C. A me-centered culture

D. Pressure to succeed

E. Because it's a big school, easy to get lost in

F. Bullying

G. Other (please specify)_____________________________________

You may indicate more than one factor, but if you do, please number your answers according to importance.

Sign off with: A (for adult), T (teen), and M (for male) and F (female).

Post your answers in the Comments section below, or
E-mail them to me at marghouk@juno.com or
Post them on my Facebook page: Facebook/Margaret Houk (use link on right)

___________________________________________________________

I will publish the results on this blog next Friday, February 4th. My daughter says you'll need more time, so if she's right and it is needed, I will follow up with a later tally on Feb. 11th.

You may copy this survey and share it at school, work, church, or wherever. The bigger the response, the more accurate the survey will be. If you do, be sure to include my blog address: http://walkingreligiously.blogspot.com so all contributors can learn the results.

Anxious to know, along with you,
Margaret

2011-01-25T11:32:00.004-06:00

The Importance of Respect

I have been reading a fiction book in which a teen from a troubled home committed suicide. This touched a nerve in me, because a nearby community has had a rash of teen suicides this past year--including one just a few weeks ago. I have no magic answer for these tragedies, but I do know this: In my youth, rarely if ever did it happen. Why? I can't be certain, but I do have a few ideas about that.

1. We respected our parents, and they respected us. Not that we were close friends, but my brothers and I did what was asked of us without questioning it--including plenty of chores, which made us an integral and important part of the household. If a problem came up, we knew we could talk to our parents and they would take time to listen. I'll never forget the day I came home from ninth grade in bitter tears. New to this school, I had quickly made a best friend who after just a couple of months was moving to a different school district. It was too much readjustment to have to make so soon. My mom took me in her arms, heard my sad story, and reminded me, "This, too, shall pass." That's all I needed. She had a job, as most moms do today, but we were lucky. My dad owned an auto repair shop and we lived in a house on the premises, which enabled her to be around if needed. Mom was his telephone answering service, errand runner, and bookkeeper.

2. People respected other people more. I'm not talking about accepting persons of other races, genders, religions, and nationalities. My neighbor taught his children to call my husband and I by our last names, "Mr. and Mrs. Houk," even though our families had become friends. My husband once had a boss who was a decade younger than him. He told Pete to call him "Jerry,"* but my husband declined. He was "Mr. Scott"* as a sign of respect for his position, and that had nothing to do with his age. How do you address clerks in stores, police officers, and neighbors?

3. People expected respect from others. I just listened to a noon hour television news broadcast in which the anchorperson said betters are cropping up with wagers regarding Britain's royal wedding on "Will the marriage end in divorce?" and "Will the bride get to the church on time?" There was a time not so long ago when the only appropriate response to a wedding announcement was "I wish you a long and happy marriage" and the only appropriate wager was over where the royal couple would spend their honeymoon or how many children would they decide to have. We expected good behavior from everyone, so it never became the object of a question mark.

4. Discipline is love in action. When parents stopped requiring respectful behavior from their children, the children stopped giving it. Are they happier today? No. On the contrary, studies show that children need and want to know the acceptable limits of good behavior. Their lives become chaotic without it.

Our public attitudes need upgrading. When we can show proper respect for other people and what's going on in their lives, and they in ours, we will have happier, more emotionally healthy communities.

Wanting a healthier, happier world--the kind God wants for us all,
Margaret

* not his real name

2011-01-21T10:57:00.001-06:00

The World of Internet Misinformation

Over last weekend our beloved Green Bay Packers quarterback Aaron Rodgers was raked over hot coals on the website Profootballtalk.com. Was he running a dog racing track like Michael Vick did? Was he texting sexually objectionable messages to a team reporter, as Brett Favre was reported to have done? No. He just refused to give one woman fan an autograph, in passing. For this he was called "arrogant and uncaring." The video clip and accompanying message went viral on the Internet. A few days later the website's editor issued an apology. It seems Rodgers never saw her, the woman herself already had items signed by Rodgers in the past and was amazed and unhappy with the way the video was used, and several people who know Rodgers well said something was very wrong in this picture. "This is not who he is," they said.

I don't know about you, but I am sick and tired of the crazy array of destructive messages that some mean-spirited people are sending around on the Internet. There is no way of undoing the damage this editor did because he is unable to reach all the people who saw the video and message and believed it to be true. That's the way mistakes made in public communications are. I lost a good friend last year due to a bad Internet communication. She sent me a doomsday message written by a professor based on "his hunch." Concerned that my friend might take this depressing forecast as gospel truth, I wrote back a lengthy tome discrediting what this expert was saying. She called my remarks "Garbage!" How could I be so presumptious and arrogant as to argue with an expert? She never looked at the facts and simple logic I had used. I was wrong because, well, he was an Ivy League professor.

The computerized world will soon need to address this proliferation of misinformation because they have to. We now live in a world filled with falsehoods and undocumented "facts." People don't know what or who to believe anymore. This leaves us confused and anxious. Want to know something for sure? Then look to the honorable world of journalism, where sources are evaluated and double and triple checked, if necessary. As to anything else, well, don't believe everything you read. It may or may not be true.

Wanting truth preserved,
Margaret

2011-01-18T11:00:00.001-06:00

Gay Parenting

The Golden Globe Awards were full of kudos this year for one of Hollywood's latest liberal causes, the movie The Kids Are All Right. It's claimed to be the story of two lesbians raising the children of one of them. Hollywood would truly like to believe what the title says, but it's not true. It's time to tell the truth, not what they want to believe. Studies have consistently shown over and over again that children are happier, do better in school, and build more productive lives when they are raised in emotionally healthy heterosexual families.

Common sense and a simple knowledge and awareness of human nature should tell us that boys cannot learn how to be well-balanced honorable men without the role modeling good fathers provide. The same is true about girls raised by men. Children who are heterosexual learn only how to relate to homosexuals, not how to respond as a heterosexual. How can they avoid gender identity problems when they become teens?

The ideal family life for every child, of course, is to live in a home where a mother and a father, preferably their own, interact in loving ways. How do these parents keep the love alive? How do they solve their inevitable conflicts in ways that minimize hurting each other, allowing them the satisfaction, contentment, and joy that builds a marriage that lasts fifty years of more? This is what children learn best in a happy heterosexual home.

Are the kids "all right?" Ask the kids what they want.

Loving the youngest generation,
Margaret

2011-01-14T10:00:00.004-06:00

Our Uncivil World

I don't know if the lack of civility in our society was a contributor to the senseless slaughter of the people surrounding Representative Gifford in Tucson, but it is a problem that needs addressing, nevertheless. A free society will never be totally safe from dangers such as this assault by a mentally ill man, but the climate we build sets a tone for our society--one that affects our communal quality of life. The damning rhetoric we hear from the mouths of some politicians in Washington occasionally is altogether unnecessary and prevents them from acting respectfully with Congressmen of other persuasions in the pursuit of the common good, which should be their primary objective. Some of the destructive lies spread around last year about President Obama were widely refuted among good leaders in both political parties, did no one any good, and undoubtedly left a bad impression about our nation with other countries around the world. We ask for respect from them, when some in our own fold don't show minimal respect for our own leader. Whether we voted for him or not, whether we believe in his planned policies or not, all American citizens owe Mr. Obama the respect due the publicly elected leader of our nation.

Occasional ugly heated rhetoric by some of our media's political glory-hogs adds to the uncivil tone set in our society. It may be good entertainment for their followers, but it sends a bad and dangerous message to troubled mentally disturbed persons who might take them seriously and act on their outlandish suggestions. Again I have to ask, "Are these commentators acting for the common good, or for self-aggrandizement?" What price are these self-centereds willing to pay, out of love for their country and its good people? Better, more civil behavior? Time will tell. Incidents such as these Tucson killings can be a catalyst for improvement in their arguments, or not.

We have always recognized that freedom, our nation's great promise, must be restrained for the welfare of all. Who of you has not heard many times "You just can't shout 'Fire!" in a crowded theatre." As former Minnesota Governor Tim Pawlenty said this week on Good Morning America, "We could all benefit from a more civil and thoughtful discourse in our society." Amen!

2011-01-11T11:02:00.000-06:00

Women and the Holy Grail

This post is for my women readers, and the question I have for you is, "What is your Holy Grail?" Today's bookshelves, magazine racks, and TV shows are full of tips and methodologies about how to live up to your full potential. Self-actualization is Oprah's mantra for her new network. Is this a good thing? Yes, to a point, but I doubt that is what today's women need and want most. It is not their Holy Grail.

What is your Holy Grail? Is it to become a top business executive, to have a position with power, to be famous, to make big money, or is it something else? Self-fulfilment only goes so far, and then one is left with a big empty hole that only God, love, and people can fill. No matter what we do or how well we do it, there is poor balance and little richness in our lives unless people are in it advising us, challenging us, and supporting us. Our loved ones--parents, spouses, children, and friends--share our joys and help to diminish our sorrows. Above all, for those who come to know, love, and honor him, God is our strength when moments are weak, our comfort when darkness clouds our skies, our merciful forgiver when we've really messed up, and the source of unfailing love and inspiration that gives our lives peaceful rest and the hope of eternal life, after all is said and done.

Go God! Go friends and family! Go grace and love!
Margaret

2011-01-07T10:25:00.001-06:00

"Divorce Sucks!"

After Tuesday's post on long-term marriage difficulties, I felt the need to dig a little deeper, so I interviewed a divorced friend who once made the remark, "Divorce sucks!" Susan (name changed for privacy reasons) was married sixteen years, but there was always an elephant in the middle of her living room--adultery. It created a climate she could not live with and he did not want to live without. I asked Susan...

Me: How did you handle the divorce?
Susan: At first I thought, "Oh, I'm going to be one of them." I was terrified at the prospect of what lay ahead. At the same time, I couldn't live the way he wanted. There's the Christian aspect, too. I stopped going to church for awhile because I felt guilty. Then I went back. It (church) was an important part of my life and I needed to have that back. I got lots of support going through it, which was comforting. Now I'm finding it's everywhere and I don't hesitate telling people I am divorced, but I think that's sad (that it's everywhere).

Me: You have one child. How did he handle the divorce?
Susan: We tried to make it as easy as we could for him, and several people told us we handled it well. But the kids hurt, no matter what, no matter how you handle it. It was especially hard on him because it came in the middle of his turbulent teen years.

Me: You once told me, "Divorce sucks!" In what ways?
Susan: It's very much an end. Unless you are lucky enough to have someone in your life to start over with, it's very hard. You are always referencing your earlier life. Also, there is the sadness you feel for your children. It's very hard to watch them go through that. We're the grown-ups, the parents, the adults. We make the mistake, and they have to suffer for it.

Me: Did you join a support group or get other help?
Susan: No (to the support group). I was in personal counseling and I took a class in how to help your children deal with divorce.
Me: Did it help?
Susan: Yes. The counseling helped me deal with my guilt feelings and the parenting class assured me that I was doing all I good for my child. It helped me know the right things to say to him and what things to avoid doing.

Me: What advice would you give someone contemplating divorce?
Susan: It isn't always greener on the other side of the street. People do get through it and move on to function well in their lives, but it does change a person forever.

After talking with Susan, I am more convinced than ever that divorce is not a good alternative for a struggling long-term marriage, and not just because it is so hurtful for the children. It's a hard, hard road for the adults involved, as well. Susan confirmed my earlier conclusion that, if possible, it is better to mend it than to end it.

Thank you, Susan, and God bless and strengthen all who are struggling with marriage difficulties or living with the changes divorce brings,
Margaret

2011-01-04T10:55:00.001-06:00

Mend It, Don't End It

I have been wondering what it is that enables some long-term marriages to rise above the obstacles that crop up periodically in every marriage and brings others to a breach so cataclysmic, they cannot mend it. Facing a couple of surprising long-term marriage meltdowns in our extended family recently, my daughter and I have been speculating on this topic, with some heartbreak. For a broken marriage reverberates far beyond the borders of the couple or even the whole family involved.

"It only takes one person to break up a marriage, but it takes two to hold it together," Debbie remarked. With great insight. My thoughts are that those couples who make it last do so because they have found the ability and desire to see and think beyond themselves. Some sacrifice is needed to make any two-person relationship work, be it at work, with a friendship, or in marriage. Every individual differs from every other. Each thinks, acts, and hopes things the other does not. In facing these differences, we can either rise above, attempt to share, or try to accept these differences as a means to broaden and enrich our own personal lives or we can choose to travel own road, free but alone. Often those who walk away find it is not the road to happiness they expected.

Divorce is extremely hard on the children involved. It ought to be a last resort. History suggests that is no longer the way of things. For some reason the rate of divorce has sky-rocketed in recent decades. Could it be attributed to the fact that the "me generation" became the preferred approach to living at about the same time? Given that there are certain factors in a marriage that are unsupportable (addictions, abusive behavior, adultery), I believe many threatened marriages today could be saved by making a decision jointly to use these differences as opportunities to work together towards building a marriage that is better, stronger, and closer than before. In my early years, staying together for the sake of the children was a golden rule that saved many marriages. People often found that they needed to change to accommodate that goal, and they found new closeness and greater joy in doing so. My own marriage faced the doldrums at one time, but we never considered divorce an option. Instead we took marriage enrichment classes, and the second twenty-five turned out to be much happier than the first.

Wanting a happier life for today's marrieds,
Margaret

2010-12-31T11:05:00.003-06:00

The Wednesday after Christmas

This past Wednesday four members of my family volunteered to help cook and serve the noon meal for the needy at Appleton's Salvation Army. We have been doing this on the Wednesday after Christmas since 2004, the year my husband died. Following his retirement, he had for sixteen years spent every Wednesday morning on the kitchen crew, donning a cook's apron and cooking and serving everything from chicken dumplings or beef stew to homemade cakes and cookies. Upon his passing, one of my sons-in-law had suggested this event as a memorial in honor of the many years of work he did, and the rest of the family loved the idea. We've been at it ever since.

The first few years we had so many workers (anywhere from ten to fourteen), the kitchen's head cook had half of the group--the big guys--clear out boxes of food and clean the walk-in freezer and refrigerator, tossing out what was spoiled or old and refilling the units as needed. It was a jolly, noisy bunch in those days, with grandchildren still in school or college joining us. They are moving on now into jobs and marriages, so our group is smaller. But the core group was still there, and it was a great feeling joining together again to cut up and toss a huge bin of salad, pour individual salad dressing cups for 125 people, and scoop out bowls of ice cream along with our beloved substitute cook Marian, who was there B.P. (before Pete left) and is always on duty, it seems, this particular week, it being the holiday week between Christmas and New Year's.

I wondered this year if we should cancel out now this annual family tradition, with our group declining in numbers, but the feeling didn't last long. It is a wonderful thing we are doing. It's only once a year. And mostly, I think, we all need to be reminded that we are a richly blessed family, that hardship and hunger are always present in our community, and that we, too, are gaining something. We are being served, just as we are serving.
These people who are less-blessed are God's creatures, too, just as we are. And we who have been given much need this opportunity to share God's love in real and visible ways, at least once a year.

Loving and serving God in our community,
Margaret

2010-12-28T10:39:00.002-06:00

America: a Nation Struggling for Its Soul

We Americans badly need to restore those standards and values that made our nation great, that defined the United States as "the best place in the world to live." We have not totally lost those qualities, but we are in danger of doing so. If we are to hold strong to the constructive values that made our country great, we must start with respect for religion and its place in American life.

Renowned anthropologists Will and Ariel Durant, after spending forty years studying the development of civilizations around the globe, concluded this: "Even the skeptical historian ...sees (religion) functioning, and seemingly indispensable, in every land and age." Why indispensable? Because it comforts the suffering, encourages discipline of the young (to maintain order), confers meaning and dignity to the lowliest of peoples, and creates stability by transforming human covenants into relationships with God. Religion dispenses moral order (think the Ten Commandments). It teaches men that patriotism unchecked by a higher loyalty can be a tool of greed and crime. The Durants conclude that "There is no significant example in history, before our time, of a society successfully maintaining moral life without the aid of religion.*

Recent surveys by the Pew Research Center indicate the United States is among the most religious of the world's nations today, which is encouraging. Unfortunately, though a majority of U.S. adults polled say religion is very important in their lives, large numbers of them are largely uninformed about the tenets and practices of major faith groups, including their own.**

Capitalism cannot create a substantive long-standing healthy society unless it is tempered by the control of humankind's greatest sins--the lust for power and greed. Here is where the church comes in. Wealth is built upon the backs of many people, and these workers must in turn get due compensation for their efforts. Not only does this make for a more prosperous nation, it makes for people of fine character, whose nature is defined by goodness or even godliness, if you will. There are those who believe goodness is possible without godliness, and they may be right to a point. But goodness will find its greatest heights and depths when lived in tandem with faith in God.

Loving and wanting the best for my struggling country,
Margaret

* Will and Ariel Durant, Lessons of History, New York, NY: Simon and Schuster, 1968, pp. 43-51.

** http://pewforum.org/other-beliefs-and-practices/u-s-religious-knowledge-survey.aspx

2010-12-25T10:13:00.003-06:00

The Meaning of Christmas

My ten-year-old great grandson came to visit last Sunday. Raised in a religionless home, he asked, "What is the meaning of Christmas?" So I found my Little Golden Book version of The Christmas Story (Luke Chapter Two, in children's language). I realized later that I had not shared with him the meaning of Christmas, however, just the story. So who cares, that a baby was born to a poor couple in a small village in one of the world's smallest countries? Why does that matter to anybody else, especially 2,000 years later? Obviously there was something very special about this baby. Why did angels appear in the skies and announce his birth to a bunch of shepherds--the poorest of the poor people--and then tell all the people around them how great he was? Even more amazing, why did a trio of kings from faraway lands come to worship him, calling him a king?

This is what I told my great grandson:

"He was not just a baby. For thousands of years the Jewish nation where he was born had been waiting for a Messiah (also called Savior) to be born. Their God, whom they believe to be the Creator of all things, had promised that he would come. These people had offended their God many times over and over again and were not always on good terms with their God, even though they also believed he is the best thing that can ever happen to anybody because he loves and forgives them, over and over again. That's the way people are, isn't it? We all hurt each other, sometimes when we don't even mean to. The Creator did not want this kind of life for people. He wanted them to love everybody all the time and never cause anyone trouble. But because that's the way people are, everybody needs to get right with God again. Jesus, the baby, was sent by God to make that possible not only for the Jews but for all people who want to believe in and follow this God. How he did that is another story, the Easter story.

Back to the Christmas story, Christians--those people who love Jesus and believe he is the God-sent Messiah/Savior are full of joy at this time of year because Jesus' birth means God loves us very, very much. So much that he sent his own Son to be that Savior. Jesus is God's very own son, you see. It also means that someday, when we die, we will come alive again and be with that loving God and Jesus forever and ever in "eternal life," which is the perfect world the Creator God originally wanted for us. God promises us that in the book we call the Bible. And God is truth, that book says. That means, he never ever breaks his promises. Ever.

Now isn't that good news? It's wonderful news. What's why we can't help but say, 'Rejoice! Rejoice! Our Savior has come.' We give each other gifts because God gave us the greatest gift there is--our Savior."

Your great grandma who loves you, too, just like God and Jesus do,
Grandma Peggy

2010-12-21T11:25:00.000-06:00

Continuing with my Christmas letter through this week...

2010-12-17T11:37:00.002-06:00

Christmas letter 2010

This year has been a good one for me, affirming that the health problems I ran last year were just a few bumps on the landscape of my life, at least so far. It appears God has more work for me to do, as I was inspired in April to start writing a twice-weekly blog, Walking Religiously, to build a stronger following for my writings. It is seeing slow but steady growth, as I expected, and is leading me towards bigger things. A chance encounter with a fellow Valparaiso University alumni a month ago gave me an "in" with one of Christianity's top publishing houses. This could lead nowhere, or it could be an open door to the publication of three or four books very close to my heart that I have long wanted to see come into print. As God so moves...

On the personal side, a vacation trip with Sue, my youngest daughter, to southern Arizona for a week in October was a delightful and refreshing break from my usual routine. (Some of you already saw the posts I wrote about that trip: Arizona 1 and Arizona 2.) One of my grandsons works and lives there now, along with his bride. Which leads me to the other family news---actually two grandsons married lovely young women this past summer, and we are thrilled to have them join our family. We also attended a fun bridal shower in suburban Chicago one Saturday in July.

My children and grandchildren are well for the most part. Tim, who was critically injured in an auto accident two years ago, still needs back surgery but he's been promised he will get BadgerCare health insurance soon so he can finally go ahead with it. We are learning how painfully slow our country's helping system works for those who truly need a helping hand. My late husband Peter's last two siblings are going to be joining him soon, which is sad. Other than that, life is good and God has blessed us richly this year. My hope and prayer is that He will take you in good and enjoyable places in the new year ahead.

Praise and thanks to our loving Lord Jesus whose birth we celebrate next week,
Margaret/Peggy/mom/and grandma

P.S. See next Tuesday's post for the key, introductory chapter for what I hope will be my signature book as a writer. The title is "America: A Nation Struggling for Its Soul."

P.S. 2 Debbie, my middle daughter and house-mate, says "Hi!" to everyone.

2010-12-14T10:56:00.002-06:00

Wisconsin Football, December 2010

If you love football and you live in Wisconsin, it's really tough right now. Badger football has slowly but emphatically kicked itself up the ladder from 7th or 8th or so on most of the college team ranking polls to 4th just about everywhere. Not that I'm complaining. But now we're headed for the Rose Bowl to duke it out with TCU (I think that's Texas Christian University but everybody just uses the initials now, leaving neophytes guessing...). TCU is number 3 and still lose-less. That's the opposite of winless. The vocabulary experts just haven't caught up with modern times yet. Anyway, the week leading up to New Year's Day is gonna be mighty tense.

Then there's the Packers. I don't know how our Wisconsin pro team can keep on winning, week after week, when we keep losing our top team players to injuries. Talk about stress! Even our losses have been by only a measly 3 points. There ought to be a semi-winning category for great tries. We'd be over the top. Anyway on Sunday we play the Detroit Lions--the NFL's basement team, but they almost win every game. That is scary. I've been playing out upcoming games in my dreams lately and I may not make it to Superbowl Sunday if they keep scaring us fans with close games. I figure Rodgers has to keep the team going on every series, if we're to make it all the way. (He's the quarterback, for all you non-cheesehead people). Anyway, one of these days the Lions are going to come roaring out ahead of their opponent, and it can't be us. We need this win too much. Whoops! Here comes another sleepless night.

We're upping our ammunition. Thompson (the Packer's manager) and McCarthy (coach) have us lined up with three strong (hopefully) running backs now to replace the Number One runner Ryan Grant who went on the injured reserve list just as the season got started. They've also beefed up our other weak spot, special teams, by super-training the speed demon rookie Sam Shields, hoping he'll become another Adrian Peterson or Desmond Howard and give us some hair-raising full runbacks up the field. So you see, we can't lose now. This team is geared up to make it all the way this year.

The only one who might not make it is this competitive fan, who can't stand to lose. The biggest problem I have right now, next to loss of sleep, is: What am I going to do with my life when the football season is over?

On Wisconsin and Go, Pack!
Margaret

NOTE: By now you realize I wrote this post on Saturday and we did lose to the Lions. Ugh! Ugh! Have I lost faith? Goodness, no! The Bears also lost Sunday and by a ton. So we still have a chance, though not a good one. Both our teams have a rough schedule to play yet. And though the Bears might win the division title, we played competitively and almost beat one of the top teams out there this year, the Atlanta Falcons. And this despite our numerous injuries.

Good fans never give up hope!

2010-12-10T09:54:00.003-06:00

What Are Funerals For?

One morning this week I happened to read the obituary of a 49-year-old man. At the closing it read, "It was _____'s wish to not have any services." Though all of this man's grandparents had died, he left behind both parents, one step-parent, two children, two grandchildren, two sisters, two step-siblings, and numerous aunts, uncle, nephews, and other relatives and friends. All of these people need to mourn his passing. How will they do so, I wondered, without some planned event that would bring them together to console one another?

I believe the tradition of holding funerals was originated not for the deceased but to meet the needs of those left behind. My daughter suggested that perhaps his was not a happy family. That may be, but that does not mean they do not feel the loss. If so, their loss might be especially difficult to handle. Regardless, those left behind need to share the sharp pain that comes after a death. Sharing such a heavy burden initiates healing and brings gentleness to the agonizing process of beginning to move on.

I experienced great difficulty handling the deaths of two immediate family members, once when a son-in-law was killed in an auto accident on the way to work one morning, and the second in the gentle expiring of my dear husband following months of dealing with a terminal lung disease. Both times their funerals inspired stories of many joyous times shared with the deceased. There was laughing as well as crying, tears of joy mixed with sobs of painful loss. It would have been much harder to face both of these losses, had there been no sharing of their lives at the ends of them. I also suffered great turmoil when my father died, but for a different reason: his body was taken away before I had a chance to say Goodbye! He had donated his body to medical science and I, living a day's drive away, did not get to see him before his body was removed. My brother reassured me the next day that Dad was truly gone, and I was greatly relieved. I could not have foreseen that I would react this way, for it was the first time I had faced the death of someone so close to me. Had there been no family gathering, it would have taken months if not years for me to begin to deal with his death.

If or when you ever face the question, please opt for some kind of family gathering. It need not cost much, because price does not matter. It need not be elaborate or dark in nature, though funerals do need to respect and accept the feelings of the mourners and the varying ways they respond to the loss. Ultimately funerals are the celebration (or commemoration) of a life, but don't forget: they are held for the benefit of those left behind.

Enjoying the memories of my gone and treasured ones,
Margaret

2010-12-08T11:32:00.002-06:00

My Special Kindness...

In honor of Jeanne Houk, a gift of forgiveness of two long-standing debts to one of her descendants. It's something she would do, cheerfully and sacrificially.

2010-12-07T10:24:00.003-06:00

A Special Kindness

I was deeply touched by the devotion I read yesterday morning. Apparently, "do an act of kindness" is not original with this generation. The devotion centered on 2 Samuel 9, where King David wanted to "show a special kindness" for his dear friend Jonathan's sake. Jonathan was not only David's best friend, he had also saved David from his father Saul's murderous intentions. It seems that the deceased Jonathan had a son Mephibosheth, who was crippled in both feet. David's emissary found Mephibosheth, the king took him under his wing, and King David provided him land, servants, and a permanent place at the king's own table---all in honor of Jonathan.

This devotion singled out kindness as a fruit of the Holy Spirit (Gal. 5:22) and as "a spot on the Apostle Paul's 'love' list" (Love is kind, 1 Cor. 13:4 NRSV). It also holds space in God's formula for Godly living: to do justice, to love kindness, and to walk humbly with your God (Micah 6:8). Kindness. It's such a little thing, so easy to do. At the same time, it preaches volumes about the person extending it. Is there someone in your life who stands out for some reason--someone whom you might want to honor by extending "a special kindness" to someone in their name? I have one and I decided to do so, in honor of my spiritual mentor, my mother-in-law Jeanne Houk, the woman who taught me God's love by the way she lived her life. One incident that stands out in my mind is the year she packed up the Houk family's Thanksgiving Day dinner and gave it to a poor family. The Houks--all six of them--had soup for dinner that day.

If you have someone whom you would like to honor similarly, please let me know--now or in the near future, and I will share it with the rest of my readers. Isn't this a good way to share God's greatest act of special kindness, the gift of his son Jesus, during this his special time of the year?

In the spirit of loving-kindness,
Margaret

2010-12-03T10:16:00.003-06:00

The Joy of Family - Part Two

No one will accept you, as you are, as well as your family will. No one will take you back, following a conflict or a breach of decent behavior, as well as your family will. No one will stick with you through thick mud and thin waters as well as your family will, all provided you have a nurturing family. It doesn't happen by accident, and the process is not fool-proof. It requires "nurturing." That means you guard your mouth and actions carefully with those you love. It means you forgive, even if you've been wronged in the process somewhere. It means you support their efforts, even if you don't always agree with their methods or decisions, not interfering unless you see clearly that there will be lifelong negative consequences to their actions.

Easy? Goodness, no. Worth it? You bet!

The picture I've painted above is pie-in-the-sky thinking. Let's get real. Just as life has ups and downs, so do our family relationships. More than once I thought this about my husband: "If I didn't love you so much, I'd really like to divorce you about now over... ." For some reason, ripples in the peaceful waters, and especially strong tumultuous waves, are especially hard to handle at this particular time of the year. If this year happens to be a difficult one for you or your family, please know that it is okay to pull back a bit on activities and focus on the real reason for the season. That's what we did one year some time back, when our family was estranged from one member of the family the same year that another member had a devastating financial emergency and a third was too ill to attend the festivities over the holidays. (Who was it that said, "Trouble always comes in threes?") Jesus came to bring peace on earth. That infers that it is not always present for us. But we know that already, don't we? It can be, in our hearts, at all times, if we focus on his message.

Peace, love, and joy--in your family hopefully, but with Jesus always,
Margaret

2010-11-30T11:00:00.000-06:00

The Joy of Family, Part One:

It's Grandma Time!

This Thanksgiving was one of the most joyous I've had in recent years. The reason? I had a great big dose of family this year. It was "Grandma Time" in large doses, not just for me but for my children. Here's the picture:

On Thursday my middle daughter's older son brought his SUV-full of two step-daughters (one teen and one emerging-teen) and a 2 1/2-year-old son. Little Justin ran in the front door and right to the den where I keep my toy box and his favorite Fischer-Price thing. If you punch the levers, WOW, the animals pop out of their little boxes and then you get to push them back in again! Didn't last long. He ran back in the den and returned with a construction hat on and a bunch of blocks with a container to fill. After that the blocks got stacked three or four times and then he "drove" the toy Ice Cream truck around on my coffee table (Yes, I put a protective cover on it), filling and and emptying the truck with--you guessed it--blocks. And then he-- Well, you get the idea. Who cares about Thanksgiving food when there are toys to play with? That isn't just Justin speaking. I wasn't that hungry, either. The teens did their own thing, the one who is a special needs child taking on the mass coloring project she always loves to do so well when at my house, and the other playing games on my daughter's I-Tune. Oh, yes, there was a bit of time for the grown-ups along the way, too. Not much, but enough.

Saturday saw us visiting the family of another daughter in Fort Atkinson. Both of her adult children and one grandchild were there. My eldest daughter turns into a munchkin, whenever her grandchild (her first) is around. I enjoy watching her as much as the granddaughter. Every fifteen minutes or so she brought out another "toy box", carefully stuffing the old box as little Asha began pulling apart the new. I don't know who is funnier, or more precious. 'Nough said. On Sunday, at a company party, my son shared with us the antics of his step-son's and daughter's children, whom he had just returned from visiting in Nevada for Thanksgiving week.

Lots of family. I think because the children change so much from year to year, we especially enjoy watching them grow and develop year after year, hopefully into loving and responsible adults. And then, hopefully, we watch their children grow year after year and become responsible adults, if God gives us the longevity. Family, if it fulfills its role of nurturing one another, brings us some of the greatest, most satisfying moments in life. Healthy family life shows us brilliantly that the best things in life are free. That though free, they are at the same time priceless. You can't buy love. Or emotional support in difficult situations. Or just knowing, "They'll always be there for me."

Loving my family, endlessly,
Margaret

NOTE: Joy doesn't always happen, even in happy, supportive families. See this coming Friday's post, December 3rd, for a follow-up.

2010-11-26T09:36:00.003-06:00

Thanksgiving Prayer 2010

Hi, everyone! I thought of writing an original prayer for today's post, but at my church's celebration of this holiday Wednesday night I was upstaged by one of the best ever written. So here goes:

"Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, Rejoice. Let your gentleness be known to everyone. The Lord is near. Do not worry about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."

---Philippians 4:4-7

Have a blessed holiday,
Margaret

2010-11-23T10:28:00.000-06:00

Thanksgiving Day 2010: The Balanced Life

Three of my four children and their families will not join me around the holiday table this Thanksgiving, nor will I be sitting around theirs. The fourth lives with me, so fortunately she and her family will be here. I miss the family dinners and conversations we all once had around my big century-old 52-inch round table, but life has changed. It is a different world today. Norman Rockwell's Thanksgiving portrait notwithstanding, Thanksgiving is no longer "a whole-family" holiday for me and for many of us, nor has it been for some time. In truth, married children have always had to share the holiday with both families, if they are able to join them at all. Jobs that have moved workers around the country and beyond changed the twentieth century workforce into a mobile society. So what's the big deal?

We've lost something precious in the chase to find better jobs and good livable incomes. Loving families that nurture one another find it harder and harder to keep those bonds strong and healthy across blind and distant miles. Let's face it: Facebook just cannot take the place of live hugs and kisses and the sheer joy of just "being there" with loved ones. People are finding various ways of filling that void. Phone calls and Skype transmissions send faces and voices across the miles. Personal friendships fill the void for many. Church often becomes a means of building close friendships in a new community. For some, church has become "a second family." And some turn the table around on Thanksgiving Day and help organizations serve a community dinner for the poor and lonely.

A recent TV program on China's emerging middle class portrayed adult children leaving behind their rural homes and parents--permanently, they say--for a job in the big cities that has brought them an improved quality of life. Many of them send money home. One cannot find fault with any of that. Yet I feel sad for what they are losing. Somewhere we and they must find a balance between making money and nurturing family love. My father-in-law, an electrical engineer with Michigan Bell Telephone Company, once turned down a chance to move from a mid-sized city to a higher paying job in Detroit and an opportunity to move higher up the executive ladder. He said no. No to leaving a community closer to his extended family. No to leaving an active volunteer life with the Boy Scouts. No to his wife having to leave her treasured church and community service work. No to leaving a life that was already doing a great job for him and his family. He never got another promotion, but it didn't matter. He had found good balance in his life. Let's hope that will happen with the emerging nations who are still struggling today.

The God who was with us years ago is still with us, wherever we join hands around the Thanksgiving table. May he help all of us in America and elsewhere to find good balance in our lives,
Margaret

2010-11-19T10:05:00.004-06:00

The Big-Boob Era

I think we should name this time period in our country's history "the Big-Boob Era." I've noticed that many women today are not satisfied with their God-given endowments."A"s want to be "B"s or "C"s, and "C"s want to be "D"s or "E"s (Is there an "E"?)

Nowadays, even if you've had the surgery or artificial enhancements, that's not enough. Cleavage has gotten lower and deeper than ever before. Even the recent female guest of the Muppets had to show her cleavage, though the censors thought that was a bit much and censored her back to a sane look. Babies and toddlers don't have much of anything, so she shouldn't either. All the little ones really care about is--you guessed it--function over form.

It's hard to remember when boobs didn't count. To my best knowledge, we'd have to go way back to the Flappers era, the 1920s, to get a "flat is fabulous" attitude. But I'm not sure everybody liked that either. Let's face it: most men want their women to look like a woman, not just a simulated man.

I wish we'd just settle for what God gave us. People come in all shapes and sizes and that makes them interesting. As for the guys--well, honestly, people say they like big boobs on their women but I think they prefer the whole package. And mostly what's inside, like graciousness, courtesy, kindness, MODESTY, thoughtfulness, and well--you get it the idea. With a little intelligence and common sense, as an added bonus.

Yours for a natural world,
Margaret

2010-11-16T10:10:00.003-06:00

What Atheists Cannot Explain

Atheists cannot explain...

1. ... how this beautiful world came into being, in the first place.

2. ... what unconditional love is like.

3. ... what lies beyond the world of reason.

4. ... what lies beyond the world of science.

5. ... what happens after we die.

6. ... the essence of evil.

7. ... the essence of love.

8. ... how some people can, in all sincerity, forgive the unforgivable.

9. ... heaven.

10. ... hell.

11. ... the "something more to life" God's people see.

12. ... the miracle of new life.

Friends, do you have more you'd like to add? Please send them to me at---
Comments (below)
e-mail: marghouk@juno.com, or
Facebook/Margaret Houk.

I'll add them as they come in.

Loving our out-of-this-world God,
Margaret

2010-11-12T10:41:00.003-06:00

To Improve Our Elections...

Our country is not being well served by our current system of electing our politicians. The election process has become very expensive, with the need for television advertising to get one's primary messages across and to identify where they differ from their opponent(s). Negative ads--those pointing out the deficiencies in their opponents--have proliferated, due mostly to the fact that they work. They flavor the opponent's image in such as way as to turn voters against them. Therein lies our biggest problem. With the aid of misinformation and sometimes lies, they make all the candidates looks bad, in one way or another.

We need to do things differently. I suggest we tackle the problem in stages. First, we for bid the lying and misinformation. This would clarify greatly what candidates stand for and give us a much truer image of how they present themselves. We also need to have clear identification of the donors to each candidate or cause. We could collectively call this "The Truth in Campaigning Act. " The second step would be to take some of the cost out of the process. Since some candidates are much wealthier than others, I suggest we limit the exposure of each candidate in terms of TV space time to the same limited number of speeches and sound bytes. This would not affect anyone's First Amendment rights. The number decided upon would depend on the size of each office's constituency. I tend to believe that, once the lies and misinformation become a thing of the past, the amount of money spent will diminish to a more reasonable level without the need to regulate it.

There would need to be appropriate consequences for those who break a Truth in Campaigning Law. Since money is no object to those who don't like to play by the rules, I suggest that proven violations will result in the suspension from office of the candidate who perpetrates and suspension of the right to make political donations of any kind for two terms of office to companies or agencies who defy or attempt to circumvent the law.

How about it, people? Haven't we had enough? Let's start with our federal officials. Write your candidate now to let them know you want a change in the way things are done. If nothing is done before the next election, tell your candidates this is a high priority for you and you will vote accordingly, and then do so. Lastly, and most important, pray that the Lord will bless this nation with Godly, responsible leaders--the kind that live their faith as well as talk about it.

Praying for our nation and its leaders,
Margaret

P.S. Having some formatting problems this morning. Sorry about that.

2010-11-09T10:19:00.005-06:00

Arizona 2

Cochise County

As Sue and I looked for places to visit while her son Mike was working and to visit with him and wife Laurel over the weekend, here is more of what we found:

Cochise County, their new home community, is a mother lode of sight-seeing treasure. Former Apache country, this was once the home of Cochise and Geronimo. (Anybody who has watched a Western movie will recognize those names of their famous leaders.) Near the heart of the county sits Tombstone, the notorious mining town that still calls itself "The Town too Tough to Die." Known for its legendary tales of the wild West, Tombstone relives daily the infamous shootout at the O.K. Corral where Wyatt Earp, his two brothers, and Doc Holliday took on the cattle rustling Clanton and McLaury clans. We didn't opt for the reenactment; $10 for a 30-second dramatic moment didn't seem worth the cost (or maybe we're just too cheap?). It was enough just to be "on the spot," we decided. We could imagine the rest. The same courthouse still sits there, though it has obviously been well maintained over the years, and many of the other buildings have not changed much either since those days in the 1880s. This is a town that will always pride itself on its heyday,we figured, even 130 years later.

We found a jewel of a different kind in the pretty little Victorian town of Bisbee, near the border of Mexico (see photo above). A former copper-mining capital and now mostly a small art center and tourist town, Bisbee is built along the hillsides in a mountain pass. We gorged on the town's eclectic mix of shops selling jewelry and other craft items, original paintings, and even a tiny 5 ft.-wide shop peddling a variety of honeys. No chain stores here! We also drove up a few of the numerous canyons in the area. None quite matched the gorgeous layout of the Montezuma Pass Overlook I wrote about last Friday, but they all had their own distinctive beauty and eccentricities. By the way, if you ever see a sign that says "unmaintained road ahead", don't go there! We bumped along for five miles on a series of switchbacks that grounded out our rental car a few times and cost us a bit in damages. Some things turn out to be learning experiences, and that was one.

Our base of operations, and the new hometown of my grandson and wife, was the county's largest city, Sierra Vista. Founded as recently as 1956, this town of about 40,000 has already outgrown its first WalMart. Talk about fast-growing! It is large enough to handle a large number of popular chains like Sears, Outback, Pizza Hut, and of course McDonalds (aren't they everywhere?) but small enough to avoid heavy after-work traffic jams. Our kids will like it there, we are sure. Sierra Vista's mountain elevation of more than 4600 ft. guarantees "a bit cooler" summers in Arizona's normally hot summer climate as well as mild winters. A plus: fruit trees (apples, peaches, apricots) flourish here. The kids are already planning to plant a few in their back yard.

I think I'll have to fly in again. I still haven't seen the immense flat-topped stacked boulders that comprise the scenic Chiricahua Mountains on the east side of the county, or Fort Huachuca at Sierra Vista's west border, which was established to bring law and order to the wild cowboys-and-Indians country the same year Tombstone was born and is still a U.S. Army base in operation. It hosts the Army's Military Intelligence Museum, which holds promise of an interesting tour. We still haven't seen the canyon that boasts pictographs (rock art) dating back to 600 A.D. Or Cochise's Stronghold. Let's see, maybe next summer...

Loving my grandson's new digs,
Margaret

2010-11-05T10:33:00.014-05:00

Arizona 1

Squiggles on a Map

It's only a few squiggles on a map, but when those squiggles are switchbacks on the side of a mountain, look out! It had been many years since I'd tackled switchbacks in a car--a few decades, actually, so I'd forgotten how hairy an experience it can be. My youngest daughter was driving, and we were sight-seeing Cochise County in sunny southeast Arizona while visiting her son and his wife, who moved there recently.

The dirt road was single lane with two-foot shoulders on each side and an occasional turnout to allow for return traffic. The problem is, as Sue said to me, "There are no railings! No barriers! No trees or brush to catch the car if we accidentally slide off the road!" (The railing in the photo was at the overlook). Worst of all, there was no room anywhere to turn around and go back if you chickened out, which we both were inclined to do about halfway up. When we rounded a few sharp blind corners, she said a few other words I won't repeat. But we made it safely to the Montezuma Pass Overlook, and the car doors opened to a panoramic view of the San Rafael Valley on the U.S. side and the San Pedro Valley on the Mexican side (top photo). The mountain pass sits just inside the United States border, you see. The border fence is just barely discernable at the end of the grassy plain in the top photo.

It was a scenic explosion, an unexcelled heart-tugger for anyone who loves God's gorgeous, vast natural plains in this world. We looked around in wonder for several minutes. As a plus, three border patrol officers on duty there answered a few questions this inquisitive mind quickly conjured up. Yes, they do find smugglers crossing the border illegally daily, one said--two or three and up to six a day generally. Yes, they are empowered to arrest them, but any National Guard serving on the border can only refer their findings to the patrol. They had a truck on site, with two generator-powered lamps, one for night vision and the other a heat sensor. "The heat sensors are very accurate," the officer said. "They can pinpoint exactly where any humans beings are."

Stay tuned for another adventurous travel post next Tuesday. Cochise County just has to be one of the most colorful places in the West.

Loving our time in Arizona,
Margaret

2010-10-26T10:11:00.003-05:00

A Collection

Glee Update

The three biggest "Glee" stars added a racy glow to their "struggling nice teen" images by sexually suggestive appearances in November's GQ (a men's adult magazine). Bad idea. Image is everything, when you run in the celebrity ranks. Stars are role models. Naughty is the opposite of nice, and this type of naughty flaunts what many consider questionable moral behavior. These three have let their adoring teen fans down, big time.
______________________________________________

About My Writing Life

I took a step up up this month, obtaining a professional critique of my as-yet-unpublished Bible overview. I am hoping this step will improve considerably the marketability of this, my most beloved piece of writing. Though the critiquer didn't suggest much change, just adding that extra professional touch agents use may give my manuscript the brighter ray of light needed to get it picked up by a publisher soon. In today's extremely competitive publishing market, one little outstanding feature can make the difference.

I invite your prayers on behalf of What God Wants the World to Know: A Biblical Overview. I'm dreaming big on this one. Imagine how great it would be if tens or even hundreds of thousands of people would come to know, understand, and love God better because of this Spirit-inspired work!

______________________________________________

Notice

There will be NO POSTS on Friday, October 29 and Tuesday, November 2. I'm off on a brief vacation to the sunny south--Arizona--to visit a grandson now living there. See you again on Friday, November 5.

I wish you the Lord's blessings, and have a great week,
Margaret

2010-10-22T09:45:00.001-05:00

Crap Shooting, Politically Speaking

Something must be done about the mountainous deluge of misinformation in campaign ads on television. "Anything goes" has to stop! It will be no loss. This year the character of these ads has been so spiteful and the sheer volume so heavy, this form of educating the public is no longer helpful. We citizens are left mind-weary and hopelessly confused. Campaign ads are now nothing more than an annoying irritation, and they insult the intelligence of the voting public, as well. Several weeks ago already many people in my community started muting the TV screen when one came on, but more recently it's become nearly impossible to escape the onslaught. My daughter and I have turned to reading more books and watching less TV. But this is not enough.

Unfortunately, this political crap shooting is part of a much bigger problem. Supreme Court decisions forty years ago and earlier this year have through judicial expansions of the First Amendment given undue political advantages to big money, both Republican and Democratic. One of our members of Congress told me personally it is now so invasive, he is not sure our democracy can survive it. The excessiveness of today's campaign ads is pretty much due to the overriding influence of these groups.

We can and must hold our politicians responsible for changing this sordid situation. The office of politician has long carried the burden of a reputation for dirty campaigning, but that's no reason for it to continue. The job of representing the people should bring dignity and honor. They have a big and important responsibility─to protect our people from enemies within and without. No profession is more vital, for where would we as a country be if terrorism were not held in check and enemies were allowed to conquer our shores and overtake our borders, denying our people the free democratic way of life we have and love? Ads for candidates can and should reflect the respect due this important profession.

This matter is taking a lot of the joy out of the electoral process, isn't it? This is not our America. This is not what we stand for. I'm waiting to hear from our candidates, to see if and to what extent they are concerned about it. And, even more important, what they hope or plan to do about it. Isn't it time our country grew up, to bring out the best that is in us instead of ugly, dirty in-fighting?

Your friend—battle-scarred, wondering, and waiting...
Margaret

2010-10-19T10:20:00.002-05:00

My Write-In Candidacy

I'm going to run in the election as a write-in candidate. I think I would make a better Congressman than anybody else running. As a write-in, I will have no campaign expenses, so I won't be obligated to pay back any big contributors or special interests and can vote for what the people want. I am not wealthy, so you can be sure I am not buying the office. I am an independent, so I won't even have to follow a party line on legislative votes. Doesn't that make me the best candidate ever?

I'm tired of all the gobbledygook on the airwaves, aren't you? Everybody is accusing their opponent of lying. You don't know who is telling the truth anymore. So my platform is "Tell it like it is, and keep it simple!" And here is my stand on the issues:

1. Abortion: I have the best answer for that one—don't get pregnant. Then there's no problem.

2. Health care: I'm all for it. We can't get along without it. Dead Congressmen don't get anything done!

3. Energy: I'm all for this one, too. We never have enough of that. Especially as you get older, the more you need it. So bring it on!

4. Jobs: Yah, we need those, too. The more, the better. You can't pay the bills without a job.

5. Illegal immigration: This one's tricky. I say, build that gosh-durned wall along the line with Mexico, put a bunch of gates in, and let them in, one at a time. Make them stand in line and wait their turn, like the legals do. For heaven's sake, we learned that in kindergarten.

6. War: I don't much like it! It doesn't do anybody any good to be killing each other back and forth. Talk is much better. Just be sure you've got a good translator.

7. Bank regulation: We durn better! Look at all the trouble they caused! But first, we gotta prosecute them that led the general public on a wild goose chase with their money in the first place. Years ago they used to hang criminals out West when they done people in like that!

Well, there it is. Write me in wherever you think I'd fit best. And if I get elected, I promise you'll always be able to get ahold of me because I'll have the busiest office. The party-liners are always beating down the doors of independents because they need our votes on the close ones.

The political friend who has YOU as her boss,
Margaret

2010-10-15T10:48:00.003-05:00

The Miners' Greatest Gift

Something unique and heart-warming on an unprecedented scale occurred this week with the successful rescue of the Chilean miners. When ever in our lifetimes have the hearts of people all over the world been focused intently on the lives of a mere thirty-three people in mortal danger? The rescue plan worked, and people everywhere watched and rejoiced.

There is a special message here. We humans are first of all individuals with a love of life. I think all of us subconsciously if not consciously identified with these men. We wanted them to live because we love life and life is the most precious of all gifts. In the hum-drum of everyday life, with all its obstacles and troubles, we generally lose sight of that fact. At least I do. This week the Earth held its breath for a day, and we remembered. Would that we could bring that universal recognition of our humanity in common to all of our country's foreign relations!

As I was watching Wednesday noon, one of the miners emerged and then immediately took a knee, pointed skyward, bowed his head, and folded his hands in thanks to his God. Most of us—and probably all of us at one time or another—forget to thank the Giver of life for this His greatest gift to us, our very lives. Some of us choose to deny there even is a divine Creator. This is their right and their loss. Of the rest, I invite those of you who are so inclined to join me in using this occasion to pray together, rejoicing in the God who preserved the lives of these miners and the joy and happiness of their families and preserves ours as well, day in and day out, day after day after day.

With thanksgiving for all gifts, but this week especially for life itself,
Margaret

2010-10-12T10:16:00.003-05:00

Voting--a Privilege and a Responsibility

Every time we have an election, well-meaning citizens urge people to vote. The message heard in every campaign is "Get out and vote!" The idea behind these efforts is that the more people we can get to vote, the better off our community is. And I cringe.

Think about it. If people want to vote, they will do so without being asked. They will educate themselves about the candidates during the campaign and vote for those they feel will do the best job for the people. This is the way democracy is supposed to work. But if people have to be urged to vote just because they can, will they vote responsibly? And if they don't, what effect will this have on our country? Will they take the trouble to study the candidates and issues or just check off a name because they like the sound of it, or what the person looks like, or because they see lots of ads for that person?

They can vote for an incumbent because they like the way things are or for a political party representative because they approve that party's conservative or liberal stands on important issues. But even here they cannot vote responsibly unless they are aware of what the incumbent has been doing and what the party stands for in this community at this point in time. Here again, those persons who do so are likely to vote without being urged.

So, urge people to vote if you wish, but if you do so, ask them to vote responsibly. An uneducated vote can be worse than no vote at all.

Hoping and praying for good God-fearing politicians,
Margaret

2010-10-08T11:49:00.006-05:00

Looking at Facebook II

I wanted to touch on Facebook again before leaving the topic. I have been wondering how one individual website could have mushroomed in just a few short years into a colossus with a membership of half a billion "friends."

Facebook was founded as "a response to modern loneliness," says a Newsweek reviewer. If so, it is only partially effective. Facebook calls its users "friends," but it offers a different kind of friendship, not the kind you want when you sit down with your best bud and share secrets. Facebook connects us to people from our past, current people we designate to contact or who contact us, and "friends of friends." It pyramids. It sails across oceans. For those who like gaming, it offers several types of interaction such as farming and gift giving. It connects us with lots and lots of people. But it doesn't bring us closer to those people whom we really want to love up tight. And it brings with it inherent risks. Whatever you say can get spread around the world, so you have to be careful in using it.

The secret to Facebook's success has to come in that it builds upon itself. One can "de-friend" someone. I de-friended a business associate who let me down big-time. My daughter wants to de-friend someone because of a change in a family relationship. So there are good reasons for doing so, but I suspect people rarely do. The bigger problem, for me at least, is that I now have a good-sized collection of Facebook friends and I don't know what to do with them. I only keep in touch with a couple, and I don't have time for more. So how does one put this kind of friendship to good use?

This leads me to wonder also, "Can Facebook sustain itself?" I didn't get much response when I surveyed over fifty people to see what they liked about Facebook. I'm thinking it may be too soon to weigh in on such a question. I think a number of people I've contacted are where I am—still wondering where and how to use it purposefully, if that can be done. In the meantime, if you're looking for computer fun, try it out. But if you're looking for a huggable buddy, look around in your family, church or club, or school for friends. What I call "real-time" friends.

Your friend, Facebook to some and real to many of you,
Margaret

2010-10-05T10:15:00.004-05:00

Looking at Facebook

Sooner or later I knew I'd have to write about Facebook. Everybody is, with the movie about it's founding coming out now. I've tried several times to figure out why it's so popular and I just can't get there. Writers are told these days that we must have a presence on the social networking sites—mainly Facebook and Twitter—because "that's where the action is." I'm still trying to find out what this action is.

I thought I found the answer when I tried to set up a Facebook group of Writer Friends. I sent out several invites, but nobody wanted in and I can't figure out why. We're not competitors. Writers' works are as different as fingerprints. Plop a pumpkin on a table in front of thirty writers, ask them to write down what they see, and you will get thirty different stories. I had thought it would be nice to share the many ups and downs of the profession with fellow writers, but when nobody answered the door, I got the message. That's a pretty loud "No!"

Facebook is good for reconnecting with old acquaintances, relatives, and friends. I went there when I started and it was fun for a time, but it didn't last. After updating family news with them, the conversations between us stopped. My children are all Facebook friends with me and we share a bit on Facebook, but we tend to use e-mail a lot more. My grandson showcased his wedding photos on Facebook this summer, and it did a great job. I am trying to determine if there is any advantage in using Facebook vs. e-mail for this sort of thing. I do like the idea that e-mail assures the user's privacy.

I'm not a techie lover, I'm not a computer gamer, and I have only a little free time to browse around on my computer, so I am still looking for a good, positive use for the site. Do any of you have ideas for me? Please write and tell me what you enjoy about Facebook. What keeps you spending delightful hours on this particular website?

Looking for something good and helpful in Facebook,
Margaret

2010-10-01T09:44:00.003-05:00

Writing Is...

It's time to confess. I'm a junkie. You see, writing is not just a job or career, it is a demanding, continuous way of life. I keep a small notebook and a few pencils in my handbag at all times, and when I see a scene that triggers a story idea or get an out-of-the-blue fascinating original thought, I write it down ASAP. If I'm driving at the time, I pull over at the first opportunity. I've lost a couple of good poems—and I'm not a good, much less accomplished poet—simply because I couldn't get the well-worked-out words down in time. Heart-breakingly, once these inspirational nuggets slip out of mind, they never come back. Ever! I've tried to reach out for them numerous times. It never works.

I also keep a notebook and pencil in the drawer of my bedside table and use it frequently. Haven't you ever noticed how often ideas, solutions to problems, and even plots for short stories emerge from dreams or wakeful periods in the middle of the night? I think that's because our minds are freed from the chaos of daytime distractions and thus have a pure, clean slate to work on. Church is another ripe venue. Although I always try to hide it, more than once I've snuck my mini-notebook out of my purse in the middle of a pastor's sermon (Please don't tell him!) to record an especially well-phrased gem. On one occasion, after six months of struggle trying to recover from a bout of severe back pain, I got a verbal vision of healing while singing away in the midst of a joyous hymn. Glory, hallelujah!

Writers are crazy animals. We walk around with our heads in the clouds as if inspiration is going to zap us out of a thundercloud. We chew our pencils in anxiety, struggling to make the very best word choices. Others of us pound away at our keyboards at all hours of the day or night—utilizing our "best writing time." Ideas are crazy critters, too. They pop up randomly here and there, often when we least expect them. But once the words start to flow, they feed on themselves and set off a tirade of verbiage. Is there a writer in you? If so, don't ignore it. The world needs all the creative ideas we can bring to life. Who knows? Maybe you'll be writing a blog of your own, one of these days.

Loving my writing life and the God who inspires it,
Margaret

2010-09-28T10:11:00.003-05:00

"It's Who I Am"

I found myself using that expression shortly after I started my blog, referring to this project. The next day I lashed myself ten times with a cornstalk. I cringe when I hear that expression, even though at the time it spoke eloquently to what I was feeling. I hate it because it is built on a lie.

Take the gay argument, for instance. Gays have used this saying a lot, in an attempt to find acceptance. That is why it is so heart-breakingly wrong. Your sexuality is not what makes you who you are. "Who we are" is a one-of-a-kind individual with a distinctive combination of personality, character, interests, abilities, and values. What in the world does that have to do with sexuality? There is so much more to being a unique personality, sexual preference is way down on the list. (And this blog reflects only a small part of my interests and values.)

God said it best. He calls Himself "I am who I am" (that's what Jehovah means). I think that's just great! He knows who He is, through and through. Take it or leave it. Yet according to biblical scholars Jehovah has no gender. So let's stop defining people by their gender preference or any other specific trait. Let's enjoy the uniqueness of people and appreciate them for what God created them to be—the total package, that is. People are SO interesting, if we just take the time to get to know them.

I have a similar distaste for the cousin expression, "I am trying to find myself." Live your life, and it will become obvious. Get a job you like, go to church and take in the message, and spend your spare time enjoying your family and helping others. When you are busy doing the right things, life finds you. You don't need to look for it.

Loving who I am and hoping you do the same,
Margaret

2010-09-23T19:22:00.001-05:00

TV's Glee—Good Entertainment, or Not?

"Glee" is a TV show about a bunch of kids with dysfunctional problems, their married (now divorcing) chorus director who can't seem to get his head on straight, his flaky wife who faked a pregnancy so she could hang on to him (and who lately seems to have suddenly disappeared), a sinister teacher/cheerleading coach whose behavior is so outrageous she wouldn't be allowed to teach in any school I know of, a nice girl who got accidentally (?) knocked up, a teen hero guy who isn't sure which of the glee club girls is really "his girl," a school principal who is easily manipulated into going along with the sinister teacher, and more. The show is a hit. But is it truly "good entertainment?"

The music is outstanding, and so are many individual voices in the choral group. The show gets high marks--due to the music, we are told. But it stands on sappy dramatic plots that portray mean, twisted, and often silly behavior by adults who are educated and experienced enough in life to know better. The teen plots in the show often strain credibility. Even the male heroes in the show come up lacking somewhat in character. True, almost all high school kids struggle some with personal relationships and make mistakes. And let's be honest—nobody's perfect. But if this show is supposed to represent how most kids really are or, heaven help us, show them how to handle life's problems better, most of the time it fails miserably.

Overall, does it still make for "good entertainment?" Good question. What do you think? Does the good outweigh the bad? I worry that many vulnerable pre-teens and teens are watching it because the music is so good. Do they believe the plots are depicting "normal teen and adult behavior"? I sure hope not. Do they have any idea that real life can be much better? I hope so. Mostly, I wonder how good the show could be, if its writers came up with neat teachers and good, helpful answers to ordinary teen problems alongside the outstanding music.

Loving and wishing the best for our country's teens,
Margaret

2010-09-21T10:06:00.003-05:00

Mom's Lasagna

Every mom--or at least most moms--have certain dishes they cook that everybody in the family likes. One of our family favorites is lasagna. It's not that the lasagna is that good. Well, actually, it would be if we waited for the layers to settle after taking it out of the oven. You see, it's supposed to sit for ten minutes. Supposed to, that is. The recipe says,"Bake for thirty minutes. Then allow the layers to set up for five to ten minutes."

Whoever made up this recipe must have been a sadist. It's hard enough to wait the thirty minutes to let it bake sufficiently. By then the fabulous odor of blended tomato, ground beef, garlic, onion, basil and cheese has your mouth watering greedily. So you take it out of the oven and wait for five minutes.

"It's time to check it out, Mom," my daughter says.

"I don't think it will set up well in this short a time," I answer.

"Well, let's check it anyway."

"It's gonna slide together into mush."

"Well, we don't know that for sure." (Oh, really? Hasn't it always?)

"We don't know for sure unless we try."

Excuses over. We broke down again, sat down to eat, and cut a couple of mushy squares of lasagna to put on our plates. Of course, once you've cut into the dish you can't push it neatly back together again. It's a waste of time to try. So we had several squares of mushy lasagna for supper.

Actually, we did get yummy, hot, neatly cut three-inch squares--a day later, when we re-heated the leftovers. Lasagna is one of the few dishes that is even better the next day, at least at our house.

"Next time we ought to wait ten minutes," I said to my daughter then.

"We'll never make it, Mom," she replied.

"We ought to... "

"Mo-o-m!"

She's right. I give in. Probably not. Not the way this family loves lasagna.

Loving my family and family favorites, especially... (well, you know!)
Margaret

2010-09-17T09:39:00.007-05:00

The Trouble with Aging

The problem with growing older and older and older is that the parts keep falling and falling and falling. Or failing. You know what they say, "Out with the old, in with the new?" That's about how it goes. For me the first serious warning things were wearing out was cataracts in both eyes, necessitating lens replacements. But that was just the beginning. The older I got, the more I noticed that the eye candy men like most keeps drooping and drooping over the years until you can't find your waistline anymore. Moving on (or actually, down) I lost my baby carrier at the early age of 44 in a fibroid surgery, but actually I was glad about that. Once we women have our planned families, who needs it anymore? If you guys knew what a nuisance it could be every month, you'd be glad too.

Then comes the drooping of other internal organs, the ones below the waist. Actually my neighbor had to have bladder uplift surgery while she was still in her early 30s, so I guess that isn't all an aging thing. Her doctor told her it was because she had too many children too fast—six in nine years or so. That despite the fact her priests had blessed their house with every new child. (Is there such a thing as being "too blessed?)

Skin droops, too, causing lines and wrinkles. I haven't looked into plastic surgery yet and I don't think I will. I figure I oughta get some recognition for putting up with life all these years. I've earned those suckers. Every one! I've also slowed down a little, though I gotta be honest—I fluff off more than I used to. I figure that's my reward for making it this far. Doesn't every body get longer vacations, the longer they work in this world? Down at the bottom comes—you guessed it—flat feet. Arch supports are a great invention. Nothing like propping things up a bit, when you can. Too bad they don't work for other things, like the eye candy.

Still holding it together in my later years, with pride and a few hearty laughs,
Margaret

2010-09-14T10:10:00.003-05:00

No new post today.

Check below for more recent OVER-THE-TOP items.

2010-09-10T09:58:00.013-05:00

What Are Your OVER-THE-TOP Grudges?

What things do you find OVER-THE-TOP? Things that make you want to recite the alphabet backwards or grit your teeth on a brick?

This is something new for my blog. From time to time, I've been wanting to give you lists you can add to, for a change and for fun. This is the first, and I will keep the same OVER-THE-TOP post at the top position for a week, so people can add to it every day and contributors check back to see what's new. This is a "the more, the better" kind of thing, so please ask other family members, friends, co-workers, fellow church members, and neighbors to send me their grudge things. It'll be interesting to see how many--and varied--we can come up with.

SEND your OVER-THE-TOP items to me at my e-mail address, marghouk@juno.com. Though I've tried with the help of an IT expert to set up direct access for you back and forth to my blog through other channels, I've found the old standard e-mail is the easiest and most foolproof way to reach me.

Blogging for fun as well as faith,
Margaret

Things that are OVER-THE-TOP

Another (a latecomer) by this Margaret...

39. The Stanley Steemer guy on TV who "saves" and prays over a "lost" carpet.
Can't the cleaning company come up with something better than that? To me, this borders on being spiritually offensive. It trivializes the work of Christ.

Another from Debbie P...

40. TV shows and ads that portray the kids as smarter than their parents or other adults

From Sue S...

41. Prideful people
42. "All about me" people
43. Dirty windows (I'm with you there, Sue!)
44. Stupid TV commercials (I think we've heard this several times. Will those writers ever wise up?)
45. People who are always late
46. Gossip

..........................................................................
Margaret's list...

1. Political campaign ads

2. The dysfunctional adults on Glee

3. The number of reality TV shows

4. Lady Gaga

5. The salaries of professional baseball players

6. The pay scale of Wall Street executives

7. Russ Limbaugh's babbling

8. The extravagant love of God (Caught you on this one, didn't I?)

Debbie P. adds...

9. The paparazzi

10. Not just Glee, but also "Just So Raven"

Sylvia G. adds...

11. How people blame God for everything instead of looking at themselves...

Marilyn L. adds...

12. When people forward e-mails but don't delete the names and addresses of the people they received them from

Sandi M. says...

13. People who pass you on the highway and then go slower

14. Robocalls

15. Drivers who let their dogs sit on their laps while driving or hang their heads out the driver's window

16. People who discard their trash out the car window or while walking

17. Gas prices that go down one cent, then the next day up five cents

Joan R. says...

18. Being on the no-call list but still getting calls

Lisa P. says...

19. Driving kids all the way to school, then finding they forgot something

20. After cleaning the house all day, the cat vomits on the rug (only rug they have!)

21. Just after washing the car, having to drive through dusty road construction

22. Right after running the dishwasher, find more dishes in the kids' bedrooms

23. When their daughter in college calls home for something NOW---right after they have mailed her a letter

Another reader says...

24. The salary of ANY pro athlete

25. Drivers who don't use their turn signals

26. HOT, HUMID days

Margaret B. adds...

27. Articles about getting rid of clutter (She makes things from hers, she says)

28. Alternative health advocates who have all the answers to your medical problems

29. Horrible grammar, from people who ought to know better

30. People who don't like dogs licking their feet

31. People who don't love dogs

32. The appearance of electronic devices (Uglies, she calls them, but kitchen appliances are gorgeous, she says.)

33. Modern clothing styles for women. (M. prefers to dress "with flair and elegance".) "Elegance is more fun and more appealing to men," she says.) Maybe. Let's hear from you men about that. Do you prefer that women dress in dresses and skirts?

Liz R. says...

34. Overuse of the word "impact."
(Figures. Liz is a fellow writer. We have to be precise in our use of words. I have several that grate on me, too.)

Judy F. adds...

35. Adam Lambert

36. Cell phone use while driving

37. Britney Spears

38. Following too closely

2010-09-06T20:31:00.004-05:00

Why Labor Day?

My daughter asked me yesterday, "Why do we have a Labor Day?" Embarrassed, I couldn't remember. Here is the answer I found and my take on the holiday. Above is a photo taken in 1909 at a Labor Day Parade in New York City. I had no idea women had their own trade union already by then.

In 1882 the founder of a carpenters union suggested to the Central Labor Union of New York City that there be some kind of celebration to honor America's labor workforce. As a result, on September 5^th of that year 10,000 workers held a parade in New York City. Two years later, in 1884, the parade sponsors decided to make it an annual event and designated the first Monday in September as the official Labor Day. The idea spread rapidly to other states until, in 1894, it became a national holiday. Incidentally, many other nations honor their workers, but they do so on May 1st.

How does this event fit into our nation's economic history? When the Industrial Revolution came in the late 1700s, it brought vast economic and social change. Manufacturing changed from a manual hands-on system to one machine-based (think the steam engine, the cotton gin, etc.).Within 100 years large factories and similar businesses had become the norm. Workers became wage-dependent. Business owners, some drunk with power and vast wealth, took advantage of their employees by paying poorly, prompting legislation that at first set the wages of employees and later protected them with various other quality-of-life benefits. Labor unions, by now well-organized, gained the right to strike. The founding of Labor Day came around this time.

By the 1950s labor unions had become very strong, and America's middle class had grown prosperous accordingly. But more recently, globalization of our world economy has shifted the balance scale once again. American businesses have had to downsize and outsource to meet competition. As workers have been dropped, company loyalty has fallen. Businesses need dedicated, dependable workers, if they are to produce a quality product efficiently. Workers need decent pay and protection from the harsh realities lay-offs, strikes, and firings bring, if they are to be compensated fairly. The challenge for our economic future, I believe, is to find kinder, more workable responses to today's pressures on our workforce. The government is trying to help, but businesses have the money and human resources to do the job better.

Looking for a better future for America's workers, and—oh, yes, thank you to our laborers on your day!

Margaret

References: Funk & Wagnall's Standard Reference Encyclopedia, Encyclopaedia Brittanica Online School Edition (including photo)

2010-09-03T10:42:00.004-05:00

Thoughts about Abortion

I received a letter from a relative last week, asking me to donate to an organization fighting the proposed Freedom of Choice Act, and I'm not sure how to answer it. You see, I've been on both sides of the fence. I love children dearly, and I am revolted to think anyone would choose to deny life to anything so precious, truly of priceless value. On the other hand, a dear member of my extended family was once forced to make that decision, due to a medical condition severely exacerbated by a pregnancy that was unplanned. I am also troubled that some people for religious reasons define life as beginning at conception, when in Genesis God did not call Adam and Eve "living beings" until He Himself breathed life into them. (I hesitate to mention the latter because some people will jump on this fact and use it to denigrate pre-born life, though it is as precious or nearly so as born life.)

So I guess that puts me in the Freedom of Choice category. Freedom of choice is not, as some suggest, a pro-abortion stance. It is what it says it is--the freedom to choose. I deplore the fact that abortion has become for many women a matter of convenience. Surely potential life is worth more than that! But abortion must be permitted, and in a safe manner. It has its place.

My personal position is that decisions to abort belong solely in the hands of the parents (including the oft-forgotten father of the baby) in consultation with their doctor and God or their moral conscience. Since God is the giver of life, I figure He ought to be included, but I recognize that not all prospective parents have a faith life. Everyone else should stay out of it, meaning the government and yes, even the church. This is a case-by-case matter. It ought never to be decided by a remote committee somewhere. Only those who have to live with the decision afterwards should have a say.

Loving life, children, and the God who gives us both,
Margaret

2010-08-31T09:36:00.004-05:00

Fuzzy Relationships

I like to follow "Annie's Mailbox", the former Ann Landers column. Lovelorn columns have always had special appeal for the general public. I believe that is because they are about relationships, and the quality of our relationships is vitally important to our happiness in our everyday lives. There is something to be learned in every situation.

Relationships are fuzzier than they were a few generations ago, and I think people are less happy because of it. Live-in relationships, which arose as a caution for the marriage-shy, have proven to be a poor precursor to the real thing. The unusually high divorce rate is another indicator of fuzziness. Though divorce has always been around, even in Jesus' day, today's unusually high rates suggest society needs to look more closely at how modern attitudes have contributed to this unwelcome change. Many of today's children have had to learn to live in fuzzy relationships, sometimes with great difficulty.

Certain standards are needed in any lasting relationship, be it friends, family, or spouse. The bonds of closeness and caring are strengthened by honesty, dependability, good communication, helpfulness, and a spirit of giving and forgiving. Strong, healthy relationships warm our days and brighten our lives. We tend to take our good ones for granted. We ought not. We need to tend and nurture them, for they are the source of the greatest earthly pleasure we have, next to the presence of God in our lives.

Happy relationship-building,
Margaret

2010-08-27T09:29:00.007-05:00

Salt

The Mediterranean-style chicken dish on my plate looks absolutely yummy, doesn't it? The breast of chicken accompanied by a sauce of tomatoes with chunks of green pepper, sliced fresh mushrooms, and white onion rings spiced the Italian way and served on noodles is one of my favorite meals. Add a few slices of Old World Italian bread, and you have a delicious feast.

When I cooked it last night for supper, my daughter Debbie and I sat down to the table eagerly and, after saying grace, dug in. Good but bland, I surmised, a bit disappointed. Then I remembered: the last time I made this dish, I put a note at the bottom of the recipe card to add salt. (This recipe came out of the "Let's avoid adding more salt to our diets by substituting other spices" era.) In this case, it didn't work. I grabbed for the shaker, sprinkled the sauce lightly, and dug in again. Aha! What a difference. It was now a perfect blend of flavors, sparked to lip-smacking goodness by the addition of a little salt. Groping for words to describe the change, I said to Deb, "Salt brightens foods." "I agree," she responded, smiling.

Jesus once said that God's people are a salt to the world. My experience put new life in those words. "So that's what Jesus was trying to say," I thought. If we follow His words and ways, our lives will brighten not only our lives but also those of the people we live, work and worship with. We will shine. We will make a noticeable difference in the world.

Thank You, Lord. What a neat picture You have painted for us. I hope I fit into that spiritually scrumptious scene.

A bit brighter today, I hope,
Margaret

2010-08-24T10:03:00.002-05:00

Church for Travelers

I missed church last Sunday. Possessed of a chronic back pain problem, I have to take care not to over use mine, and, well, I just blew it Saturday doing yard work. I woke Sunday with disabling pain.

Over the years I've come to miss my Sunday morning church time, when I don't get there. The whole next week lacks strength and spirit. But I've also learned that the next best thing to being there is to visit "Sunday morning church" via television. My church has Monday night services, but that just doesn't make it with me. On Sunday I looked over the lineup and found four options: Jimmy Swaggert, a televangelist in whom I lost confidence years ago after he sobbed publicly over his forced "grave sexual sin" confession; a Catholic mass; Joel Osteen; and Robert Schuller's "Hour of Power." The Catholic mass concentrated a lot on Mary, Jesus' mother--too much so for a Protestant like me. Joel Osteen's message was way over-the-top, promising the members of his congregation "explosive blessings $$$" from God. This doesn't really hold up well against Jesus' message, "Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moths and rust destroy, and thieves break in and steal. But store up . . . treasures in heaven" (Matthew 6:19-20 NIV).

That left my standard choice, Schuller's "Hour of Power." He always has a good message any Christian would find divinely inspired and uplifting. But Dr. Schuller is getting old and preaching less. This week his daughter taught the Lord's Prayer in an object lesson, using tools in a bucket. Okay, but not exactly my idea of a sermon. His television show also needs more financial support, if it is to survive.

Our Christian churches ought to pool our efforts and provide a Sunday morning service nationwide that is comfortable to all denominations. Not only would this meet a vital spiritual need for all their traveling members, it would also serve as a good missionary tool, introducing the Christian faith to God- and faith-seekers. We denominations as a rule tend not to do too much of anything together, unless there is an active ecumenical effort in the community, so it would take some gigantic effort. But it could be done, and we could even cross Canadian lines. After all, didn't Jesus say in John 17 that He wanted His church to be one? What a ministry that would be!

What do you think? Would you use it, if you were ill or away from your home church on a Sunday?

Looking for more good Sunday morning church options,
Margaret